tags: responding to internal stimuli

2003

June

2003 Jun 4
Responding to Internal Stimuli

Seriously. The next time something like this happens, I need you to take a brick to my head. I mean it.

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August

2003 Aug 14
first post!

Abandoning my kludgy homebrew blogging system and adopting Blosxom

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2003 Aug 14
second post!

Not particularly edifying

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2003 Aug 15
marmosets

A very strange dream

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2003 Aug 16
my adventures with apache

Enabling virtual hosts on Jaguar (10.2)

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2003 Aug 16
keychain – always allow

Annoying dialog boxes

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2003 Aug 16
and then the morning comes

Talking about religion while inebriated. A loaded comparison between Roman Catholicism and Buddhism. The dangers of drunk-dialing.

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2003 Aug 16
sbc ameritech dns servers

In case you need them, although I imagine it would be difficult to navigate the Internet in the first place without setting your DNS server.

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2003 Aug 16
how to add writebacks

Allowing comments on Blosxom 2. (Likely seriously outdated - ed. note 2008.01.02)

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2003 Aug 17
an exercise in the commoditization of culture

If you have a tatoo that consists of Chinese characters, or of kanji/kana, you should at least know what it says. Nothing says “tool” like having a tatoo you can’t read. And white people better start learning to tell Asians apart. Because there better not be another internment if Kim Jong-Il goes a little nuts.

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2003 Aug 17
notes on remotedotcomments

Making Blogger and remotedotcomments play nice. The dangers of not quoting properly.

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2003 Aug 17
dhtml lemmings

Reminiscing about playing Versus Lemmings on the Commodore Amiga. Now it’s just a Java applet you can run in your browser.

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2003 Aug 17
pervasive advertising

Philip K Dick predicts the future once again. The first application of pervasive computing is going to be—you guessed it—advertising

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2003 Aug 17
a definition of existentialism

The Camusian variant. Maybe not the most optimistic guy in the world.

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2003 Aug 18
blog wars

Flame wars move from Usenet to the blogosphere

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2003 Aug 18
divine intervention

Procrastination is like masturbation. It’s a lot of fun until you realize you’re only screwing yourself. Someone needs to save me from myself. Seriously.

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2003 Aug 21
something good is gonna happen

Finding mp3 blogs. Kate Bush “Cloudbusting”. Utah Saints “Something Good is Gonna Happen”

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2003 Aug 21
airport (802.11b/g)

Discovering the beginnings of pervasive/ubiquitous computing, and the wi-fi revolution.

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2003 Aug 22
kid a by radiohead

My interpretation of this awesome song.

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2003 Aug 22
splattered

Blood, sterile technique, and mortality.

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2003 Aug 22
dream academy "life in a northern town"

These days, I’ll catch some of the lyrics of a song, and I’ll just type them into Google, and voilà! This is the song that was sampled for Dario G’s “Sunchyme”

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2003 Aug 22
quotes from "the simpsons"

Homer Simpson is my hero.

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2003 Aug 22
more quotes from "the simpsons"

Moe Szyslak has a way with words.

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2003 Aug 23
embedded markup considered harmful

Back in the day when the specs were new, RSS was atrocious, and no one could parse it. One of the things that caused aggregators to choke was embedded markup. Although in all honesty, I never did understand what the problem was.

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2003 Aug 23
the gender genie

A little script that supposedly is able to tell the gender of the author of a scrap of text.

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2003 Aug 23
to all the girls i've loved before

OK, I admit it. I’m a Julio Iglesias fan. Somehow, a few of his songs have gotten attached to some of my recurring dreams. And somehow Unreal City—this bizarre amalgam of L.A., Chicago, and NYC—keeps popping up in my dreams, too.

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2003 Aug 24
pool and blackjack

A dream about chance, wagers, and Charles Bronson.

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2003 Aug 24
interpolate_pseudoxml

A plugin for Blosxom that makes it just a tad easier to use an XML editor to work on your templates.

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2003 Aug 24
interpolate_pseudoxml revisited

I take back what I said about my interpolate plugin. Or rather, let me qualify what I said.

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2003 Aug 24
unordered lists and css

Styling unordered lists

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2003 Aug 24
bits and pieces

Fixing the archive plugin for Blosxom. The right way to nest lists.

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2003 Aug 24
windows is insecure

The sobig.f debacle. I can’t believe people actually trust their data with Windows.

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2003 Aug 25
radiohead "the bends"

Reviewing one of the best, and most underrated albums by Radiohead

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2003 Aug 26
wifi everywhere

Pervasive/ubiquitous computing on the way

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2003 Aug 26
http_get

plugin to arbitrarily pull any content from the Internet. Likely to cause time outs and heavy load on your shared host.

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2003 Aug 26
med school fear of blood desensitize

This Google query leads to an old blog entry. Despite dealing with bleeding literally almost every single day, I’m still not immune from syncopizing from a vasovagal reaction at the sight of my own blood.

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2003 Aug 26
www.bogusmove.com

Via trails.

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2003 Aug 26
duderesearch.com

More via trails.

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2003 Aug 26
trainedmonkey.com

And more via trails.

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2003 Aug 27
even more simpson quotes

Choice quotes from Arnold SchwarzeneggerRainier Wolfcastle and Ned Flanders

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2003 Aug 27
running amok

I've been meaning to riff of off this blog entry about suicide. Maybe the timing is bad, considering that some guy just shot up six of his coworkers before offing himself [Chicago Tribune article][ABC News], but, as Michael Moore documents in "Bowling for Columbine", this sort of thing shouldn't be surprising.

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2003 Aug 27
time

Y2K was a bust, but maybe Y2K+38 will be something quite unexpected. No one seems to be in a rush to adopt 64-bit time stamps.

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2003 Aug 28
memes and the arrow of time

A meditation on the not-quite cyclic nature of time, and how both the linear and circular models of time may be correct simultaneously. Soundtrack: “Clocks” by Coldplay and “Time after Time” by Cyndi Lauper

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2003 Aug 30
gun shy

I was robbed! Seriously!

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2003 Aug 30
more bits and pieces

Links to things that might be helpful in setting up a website.

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2003 Aug 31
temporarily back in business

Continuing to have problems with Blosxom and mod_rewrite.

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2003 Aug 31
crazedmonkey.com

Via trail. How to make Blosxom serve static pages sometimes and dynamic pages other times.

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2003 Aug 31
pathetique

Man, it sucks to be alone when you’re trying to stave off PTSD.

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2003 Aug 31
cgi working

Blosxom seems to be working now. I think.

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2003 Aug 31
counting crows "rain king"

A song from back in the day. But the album it’s coming from is fitting: August and Everything After.

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2003 Aug 31
futurama quote

A quote from Bender the Bending Robot

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2003 Aug 31
nelson.monkey.org

How to keep Blosxom from getting hammered.

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September

2003 Sep 1
end stage soul disease

Playing with categories in Blosxom.

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2003 Sep 1
movie watch

“Gigli”, “Excess Baggage”.

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2003 Sep 1
targetted advertising

Now, I don't know if this is really targeted advertising, but the ads on amazon.com do tend to shadow whatever it is I have purchased or I have searched for, for example Basic Flight Physiology, given my recent obsession with space medicine.

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2003 Sep 2
brain excrement

Random thoughts. Thinking of sci-fi, and not movies or music.

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2003 Sep 3
a7 "piece of heaven (central seven remix)"

This song makes me think of Robotech.

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2003 Sep 3
sick in the head

Moments of triumph only remind me of how lonely I am. Great.

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2003 Sep 4
google is god reprised

Google is omnipresent, and rapidly becoming omniscient. And nothing will be the same.

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2003 Sep 4
september

September and the end of summer. Taking a moment to look ahead.

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2003 Sep 5
processing

Is the relationship between Processing and Java the exact relationship between Logo and Lisp?

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2003 Sep 6
for fuck's sake by robert lasner

A book about pursuing women. My life is exactly like this book, except I don’t have any of the sex.

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2003 Sep 6
stackable iPods

We should be able to daisy chain iPods and create a RAID array. Or at least have Logical Volume Management.

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2003 Sep 7
elliptical comments on mass amateurisation

We’ve got cheap hardware and free software. All we need is wi-fi everywhere, and we’re on our way to ubiquitous computing. Microsoft is missing the boat. Apple is the wave of the future. Democracy is all about “Worse is Better,” and not “The Right Thing™”.

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2003 Sep 7
the man in the high castle

What if the Axis won?

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2003 Sep 7
lists and positioning

Neat things you can do with unordered lists and CSS.

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2003 Sep 7
mp3s and spam

Wanted: mp3s. Not wanted: spam.

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2003 Sep 7
star raiders

Reminiscing about an Atari 400 game.

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2003 Sep 9
retrograde consolidation

A follow-up to my elliptical comments on mass amateurisation(sic). The original browser wars had the indirect effect of pushing back the envelope. While we have rich media such as Flash, what most of us end up publishing is essentially plain text. (OK, it’s technically HTML, and it’s usually Unicode and not ASCII, but you get the picture.) But plain text will always win in terms of portability and in terms of compactness. Which makes me think of other technology that has gone backwards a bit: MIDI ringtones, NASA’s renewed interest in Apollo space capsules.

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2003 Sep 9
more about retrograde consolidation

On the other hand, plain text is more expensive to process than, let’s say, binary code. But thanks to Moore’s Law, it ain’t a problem. My phone is over 100x more powerful than the first computer I ever owned. In this day, interpreted languages (more fashionably known as dynamically typed languages) are back in the fore. Thanks to advances in bandwidth, in particular, wireless bandwidth, non-lossy audio compression is becoming a reasonable format to download songs in. But the reliance on plain text has the additional side effect of increased openness: it’s much easier to reverse engineer a plain text spec than it is to try to disassemble opcodes.

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2003 Sep 9
the tower of babble

The Babelfish Game: take a phrase in English, convert it through multiple languages, then change it back to English, and see what you get. (See the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy for the original reference to the mythological Babelfish.) Natural selection in action? A demonstration on how false vacuum can decay into true vacuum?

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2003 Sep 12
blessings in disguise

So-called intellectual property is no hindrance to the Internet. It’s very Taoist in a way. Whatever does not yield to the Internet, the Internet merely routes around. Hence, instead of a myriad of proprietary rich media technologies, we’ve got open standards such as CSS and XHTML.

The RIAA pursues a losing strategy. As they say, those who cannot innovate, litigate. While the iTunes Music Store ain’t exactly a clean break from the old model of music distribution, the fact that you can (for the most part) buy just singles (and not just the crappy singles that the music companies allow to be released) is in itself an innovation.

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2003 Sep 12
27 - Part I

Drunk blogging to “Piggy” by Nine Inch Nails on eternal repeat. One of these days, I hope to get through life better than just barely.

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2003 Sep 13
27 - Part II

After 25, it’s all down-hill. Still don’t know where I’m going to end up, though. The event horizon known as the big 3-0 looms ahead. And sometimes I get the feeling that all the important decisions have already been made. It’s just a matter of riding it all out.

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2003 Sep 14
itunes_playlist

A kludgy way to incorporate my playlist into Blosxom.

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2003 Sep 14
scattered thoughts

Random things I found on the web:

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2003 Sep 14
retrograde consolidation revisited

What I’m trying to say with retrograde consolidation: instead of using new software on new hardware, let’s use old software on new hardware. Examples: SGMLXML, UNIX, etc.

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2003 Sep 14
gorillaz "m1 a1"

A song that makes me think about zombie attacks. (I’m thinking of “28 Days Later”, “Resident Evil”, “Shaun of the Dead”, “Silent Hill”, or “Omega Man”)

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2003 Sep 14
27 – third time pays for all

Reminiscing on a night spent getting blasted out of my mind.

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2003 Sep 15
outkast "hey ya"

Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

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2003 Sep 16
chrono_nav

“Link to previous article” and “link to next article” for Blosxom.

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2003 Sep 16
r kelly has a way with words

R Kelly sympathizes with Osama bin Laden.

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2003 Sep 17
the xhtml 2 debate

XHTML 2 is deliberately breaking backwards-compatibility and the Web screams. I don’t know why people are so addicted to backwards-compatibility. If you use open-source and open-specs, then there’s nothing to worry about. Some clever hackers will implement the new stuff, and you can move on. Or you go without, and adhere to the old specs, and compile the old source. I mean, there are systems still running Linux 2.2 out there after all.

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2003 Sep 18
the simpsons go to africa

My favorite quote from the Simpsons’ episode ”Simpson Safari

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2003 Sep 19
blogging – a retrospective

Rebecca Blood is one of the original A-listers on the blogosphere, back before Blogger even existed, and you pretty much had to roll your own blog engine. Going backwards in time on the blogosphere always ends up causing me to go far and wide as well, though, and I find myself in very strange corners of the web.

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2003 Sep 20
buying stuff

Shopping. Getting immersed in wi-fi. Screwing around with Bluetooth. Getting Amazon.com on Blosxom.

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2003 Sep 20
amazon_buybox

The code for getting Amazon.com on a Blosxom weblog

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2003 Sep 21
underworld and neverwhere

And Harry Potter, now that you mention it. It always seems that supernatural worlds have portals in the London Underground, doesn’t it?

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2003 Sep 22
adventures in print serving

Using CUPS to print to the Canon i850 through a print server.

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2003 Sep 23
galileo and the last day of summer

The Galileo space probe meets its end in the atmosphere of Jupiter. The [last day of summer][x1] always leaves me [cold][x2] [x1]: /2001/09/22/the-last-day-of-summer “The Last Day of Summer • 2001 Sep 22 • Foobar” [x2]: /2001/09/30/last-days “Last Days • 2001 Sep 30 • Foobar”

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2003 Sep 24
i think there's something wrong with me

Any moment of triumph crumbles quickly into despair. This may very well kill me some day.

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2003 Sep 25
genius and insanity

Ordered chaos. Deliberate, orchestrated disorder. A quote from Charles Bukowski that backs me up. At least that’s what I tell myself. I may very well be a super genius, or a nascent schizophrenic.

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2003 Sep 25
ass monkey disease

Seasonal affective disorder kicks my ass all the time.

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2003 Sep 25
i don't buy it

The only reason to not write standards-compliant code is sheer laziness. Everything can be rewritten given enough effort.

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2003 Sep 25
maybe god doesn't like you

Homer Simpson sympathizes with God and understands why the Flood had to happen.

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2003 Sep 25
insomnia

One of the symptoms of major depressive disorder. Despite the fact that things are going OK, I still can’t seem to pick myself off from the ground.

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2003 Sep 27
i swear i'm not crazy

I don't know about this (see the second to the last paragraph.) I think that, over time, irrational behavior is increasingly irrational, and rational behavior becomes irrational. (Entropy always wins.) In the end, it's all meaningless chaos. Or as Douglas Adams put it (in my quite oblique interpretation of his quote):

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2003 Sep 30
time travelin'

Back in the Bay Area. I’m like a ghost sifting through memories trapped in amber. I figure that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life, but maybe that won’t be for very long. But trust is a prerequisite for love, so that’s clearly not going to happen. Having too much time on my hands is a good way for me to get into trouble. After seven years, the sting is starting to wear off, but it still stings. The less you have, the more you worry you’ll lose it.

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October

2003 Oct 8
enneagram

I love personality tests.

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2003 Oct 12
the fragility of life

As I lie here in a hotel room bed, watching my brother, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend sleep as the sun slowly creeps over the horizon, I am content.

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2003 Oct 23
everything must change

Nothing ever stays the same.

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2003 Oct 26
vigil

Again, what is it that I want?

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2003 Oct 27
firestorms of the fall

I made it back to L.A. yesterday, after a mostly uneventful trip through the Central Valley, despite my surprising lack of bladder control (I will speak no more of this.) Along the way, I noticed fire trucks from various sections of Northern California—Palo Alto, Fairfield, Vacaville, Monterey, to name a few—heading down the I-5, and getting off at California 58, most likely on their way to provide backup for those fighting the incredible blaze in the San Bernardino Mountains, which eventually cut off the I-15 running through the Cajon Pass.

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2003 Oct 30
to wish impossible things

I couldn't sleep last night, tossing and turning every which way. Maybe it's because of not taking my medication until mid-day. Maybe it's the smoke in the air. Maybe it's the fact that there are a lot of things I need to get done that I haven't yet done.

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November

December

2003 Dec 5
the way

I have been embroiled in a flame war regarding, of all things, Taoism in, of all places, the Alibata Yahoo! Group. Which is remarkably synchronous with my ruminations regarding Ursula K. Le Guin, whose works are pretty much infused with Taoism, and who wrote a poetic interpretation of the Tao Te Ching as well. The at-times rancorous exchange has gotten my mind back on the Tao, and how I really should get to finishing reading all those different translations that I've started, and how, ever since my crisis of faith, precipitated by September 11 and the Catholic Church's abysmal handling of the child molestation charges, the only thing I've really had any faith in is the Way.

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2003 Dec 15
iBook saga continues

I miss blogging. Of course, lately I have very little to blog about, what with my life completely subsumed with my internal medicine subinternship, and interviews with med/peds residency programs, but, frankly, I'm beginning to feel pretty mentally constipated.

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2003 Dec 18
getting my kicks on route 66

I am currently in Amarillo, TX. I actually chose this hotel I'm at precisely because they have in-room Internet access. How geeky is that.

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2003 Dec 23
i'm not dying, i just can't think of anything else better to do

it's like i've been in a coma ever since i arrived in l.a. on saturday. it is now tuesday and i couldn't really tell you what i've been doing the past few days. excepting sleeping. i've been averaging about 16-18 hours of sleep these past few days. my dad is convinced that i have infectious mononucleosis. i do have swollen lymph nodes and unremitting malaise and fatigue. but no pharyngitis.

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2004

January

2004 Jan 4
chasing my tail

Random thoughts on this Feast of the Epiphany:

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2004 Jan 7
words

eventually, it's all a game
shuffling numbers through gates
and pulses of lightning
through arborized tangles

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2004 Jan 11
grease the wheels

"gotta grease the wheels of the economy to keep it running"
my communist sister declaimed sarcastically as she bought
that new outfit with money that she didn't have
earned from the job that she hadn't been offerred
the paycheck that she wasn't given for the 4 hours of work she did each day
putting it on in full view of the banner of che guevarra
hanging on her bedroom wall

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2004 Jan 20
words like fallen leaves

now is the depth of winter
when the heart mourns for warmer days
when the sun hides behind the swirling clouds
and light plays games with the fog and the shadows
teasing with the bone-chilling brightness
and the darkness comes before you expect it
gaping like the black abyss
and the neverending fall

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2004 Jan 22
spirit

ever burning flame
searing rays of light
eastern sky afire
I turn and turn and turn
only the sun tells me where I stand
casting my shadow hither and thither

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2004 Jan 27
fire and ice

flat lands, icy waste
curling smoke, steam rising
the city breathes in, breathes out
like a sleeping dragon

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February

2004 Feb 2
lily white

spill your secret to me
creeping shadows, and the evil that lurks in the night
that makes the dogs bark in fear
with their tails between their legs
the hooded man without a face
stealing innocence

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2004 Feb 9
lost (en las calles de los angeles)

what follows is an unmanageable, undecipherable piece of mind-blather that fails to encapsulate the inexplicable sense of alienation I experienced today, wandering aimlessly through the streets of the city of my birth

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2004 Feb 10
personality disorders and levels of hell

I found these tests through R's site, and this is what I got:

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March

2004 Mar 1
quirkyalone: why fight it?

When this meme came out, I tried to resist it for the longest time. For one thing, I automatically resist things that I perceive (rightly or wrongly) to be trendy. For another thing, I didn't quite want to give up. I wanted to believe that, deep down inside, I was just like other people, I just needed to figure a whole bunch of shit out, I just needed to break out of my shell, get over past betrayals, stop wishing for impossible things. That someday, I too would join the great chain of being, get a decent job, get married, have 2.5 kids, have grandkids, and on-and-on. What a lot of people like to call "normalcy," whatever that's supposed to mean.

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2004 Mar 2
the rain

As a coda to my rant and rave about my love life (or, more accurately, the lack thereof), I have these bits and pieces of lyrics to pop music floating through my head:

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2004 Mar 16
the beauty of being in between

I think I've too deeply internalized Zeno's Paradox. I am all about trying (and failing) to cover an infinite amount of distance in a finite amount of time—in less arcane terms, I have developed a perverse taste for the feeling of going nowhere fast.

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2004 Mar 27
hope

Dum spiro, spero

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April

2004 Apr 9
virtual hosts and cgi

I had this working before, mostly with the help of this script [citation on macosxhints.com][post on patrickgibson.com] Because of my iBook mishaps, all my tweaks were wiped, and I haven't had the time to reinstate the changes.

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May

2004 May 11
a wrinkle in time

I haven't thought about this book in a long time, despite the number of ideas it spawned within my addled brain, and despite the bizarre synchronicity swirling around this particular point in spacetime.

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2004 May 30
hope (or the lack thereof)

"Hope!?" X spluttered, anger and confusion mingled. "Don't tell me about hope!"

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December

2004 Dec 1
song

the light the rain, the spilt shifting sand and lightning fog
like ripe blossoms dessicated
by the desert's furnace winds withering breath

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2005

January

2005 Jan 25
masochism

On R's advice (as you can see, I am very suggestible), I headed up to the Central Coast and am hanging around Cambria and vicinity (which includes such places as Cayucos, San Simeon, Morro Bay, San Luis Obispo, Atascadero, Templeton, and Paso Robles, among others.) Mostly, I just want to stare at the sea. (There is clearly something very wrong with me.)

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2005 Jan 25
how the story ends

So I finished reading through most of the e-mail I sent to N when we broke up. It's kind of funny to be reading just half the conversation and yet still getting the full emotional impact without knowing what the response was.

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2005 Jan 26
executive dysfunction syndrome

it's bizarre how they pretty much have a name for everything, how it has become fashionable to call every little personality quirk a syndrome.

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2005 Jan 26
Atascadero and back

I realized that I didn't have my charger for my phone (I swear I brought it with me) so I had to go and get one. This required me to go inland.

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2005 Jan 27
time runs out

Currently Playing: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Original Soundtrack

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February

2005 Feb 6
stress ulcers

it is 9:30pm, and I have to be awake again in 6½ hours, and I basically pissed away an entire weekend off.

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2005 Feb 26
ineptitude

He arrived at the club two hours late, hamstrung by his own scatter-mindedness, without any real hope that he would still find her there. But he headed out anyway into the night, amidst the teeming swarms of barhoppers and thrillseekers. There was a time when he would have revelled in the illicit goings-on of the night, the whoring and the drug-dealing, the generalized debauchery. But in this strange place, he only felt desolate, having been gone too long from this lifestyle.

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March

2005 Mar 3
red shifting galaxies

I came home today all-of-the-sudden completely fried. I'm working in yet another different place, and once again went through the rigors of the First Day™ The day went surprisingly, swimmingly well (as they say.) But as soon as I got home, I crashed on the couch and curled up into a fetal position.

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2005 Mar 23
lost and spent

Another day off pissed away. Not to mention a couple hundred flushed down a couple dollar slot machines.

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May

2005 May 2
what are words for?

(if you are a child of the '80's, and/or a fan the erstwhile Flashback Lunch on KROQ with Richard Blade, you will recognize that the title of this blog entry is stolen from some song lyrics.)

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2005 May 2
what are words for? (before the tangent)

OK, I got distracted there from what I was trying to say. The reason why I scraped this fragmented lyric from the inside of my brain is because I am musing on something a girl once wrote me, a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

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2005 May 11
what you do for love

<table style="font-family: serif; color: black; font-size: 12pt;" width="350" align=center border="0" cellspacing="8" cellpadding="5">

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2005 May 27
pause

I sunk into a depressive mood this afternoon. Maybe it's just adrenalitis or something. All of the sudden I was exhausted despite it not being a strenuous day at all. The stress of the past 11 months, especially of the last four, has finally caught up to me, and, frankly, I want nothing more than to pass out saturated by tequila catching some sunlight on the beach.

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September

2005 Sep 11
catch up

a lot of crazy, fucked up shit has gone on in the past three months since I fell off the blogosphere (and, remarkably, none of them have anything to do with unrequited love, for once.)

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2005 Sep 13
29

Uugh. Hard drive crashes. Very sucky. My iBook lies on a Apple-certified repairer's workbench. The hard drive is actually no longer the problem, since I successfully tore open the plastic case, unscrewed 30-40 screws, popped off the aluminum shielding, took out the clattering 40 GB factory-installed hard drive, and popped in a fresh 100 GB 2.5" hard drive from (you guessed it) Fry's Electronics. The iBook actually works OK. The problem is that (1) I've managed to render the CD-RW non-functional and (2) the latch has snapped off, so that the laptop fails to close. I won't even mention the lack of audio. I had accidentally torn out the wires that connect to the built-in speakers. (I had also accidentally torn out the wires that connect to the power switch.) I managed to fix the power switch, but since I didn't want to go screwing around trying to figure out which wire was live and which wire was ground, I just remnants to the inside of the case and let it be. That's what external speakers are for, anyway.

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2005 Sep 23
chi-town revisited

so to be honest, I decided to come out here because of a girl. now M can't say I've never come out to visit.

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2005 Sep 27
nyc — revisiting the big city (continued)

In some ways, Gotham has been on my consciousness for a slightly longer time than the Windy City has. The first time I came out here was in January 1993, and from what I remember, it was not yet fully Giulianified. Me and others from my high school were only there for a night, I think, on an East Coast college tour. I remember being cold, staying in a place infested with roaches, with holes in the walls where some guy on probably PCP decided to take out his aggression on the building. Ah, those were the days.

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October

2005 Oct 12
voiceless

so it seems that I have lost my voice. I woke up this morning and didn't realize that I didn't have one until I went to buy coffee. Huh. I guess that's what is unique about living alone (this is the first time I've ever done it) I can go for nearly three hours without having to utter a word to anyone. Even in the household where I hated one of my roommates, this wasn't really possible.

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November

2005 Nov 10
525,600 minutes

The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment as my last

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2005 Nov 12
low score

found on eye.8.infiniti

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December

2005 Dec 18
dying days

burnt out, trampled, bruised and scratched up
tattered and shredded into bits
was it dark purpose, cruel design
as the daylight waned
and darkness usurped the land
that I was made against my will
to face the dying and the dead
made to be Charon rowing the rickety boat
across that lifeless river

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2006

February

2006 Feb 17
interim

I don't understand it. My brain is, I think, locking up on me. Or I'm just getting old or something. It's terrible.

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2006 Feb 23
unknown quantity

This is stupidity at its finest. Richard Cohen decries the necessity of the existence of algebra and uses the old argument that people shouldn't need to learn what they don't want to.

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2006 Feb 27
trying a new blog engine

So I tried this once before but then I lost my admin password and so had to delete the nascent blog (previously at chronos.fatoprofugus.net, which no longer exists), and there are all sorts of things that have kept me from jumping onto the Wordpress bandwagon, which I will go into detail later, but since Dreamhost makes it blindingly easy to install Wordpress, I figured, what have I got to lose but a little precious sleep and a little rarefied sanity. (By the way, don't let the term SQL Server scare you, even though it scared the crap out of me, and is one of the reasons why I've been slow to adopt the newest shiny thing. Just fill in the blanks in semi-random fashion, just making sure that you write things down somewhere. Especially that admin password.)

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