Oct 2003
- Oct 6
- the friend zone
I have been trying to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with being alone, that I am capable of living a rich, fulfilling life on my own, without having to rely on anyone else.
· Read more… - Oct 8
- enneagram
I love personality tests.
· Read more… - Oct 8
- loneliness has always been a friend of mine
On Monday, I drove across the Bay Bridge to visit B and we shot the shit about relationships (or more accurately in my case, the lack thereof.) On one hand, this past summer was one of the most action-filled in my life. I've met more women in this one year than I ever have before.
· Read more… - Oct 9
- in the beginning was the word
I don't know why I can't do this, why it's such a painful task to just pound this shit out, write down what I mean to say, and get it done with.
· Read more… - Oct 10
- i need to stop but i can't
Excellent quote from Incidental Findings:
· Read more… - Oct 11
- obsessive compulsive disorder
The thing that sucks is that I really can't stop thinking about it.
· Read more… - Oct 12
- the fragility of life
As I lie here in a hotel room bed, watching my brother, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend sleep as the sun slowly creeps over the horizon, I am content.
· Read more… - Oct 12
- to boldly go where no man has gone before
More personality tests. From the "Which Fantasy/Scifi Character Are You?" quiz.
· Read more… - Oct 12
- de clunibus magnis amandis oratio
Someone translated "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot [
· Read more…lyrics ][iTMS ] (link from blogdex) - Oct 14
- i need a miniblog
One of the things I had on my old blog that I haven't figured out how to reimplement in Blosxom is a mini-blog in a sidebar. It let me document various sites I visited without having to write a full-on entry on them. But I don't want to screw around with Perl right now, so I'm just going to do it here, for now.
· Read more… - Oct 15
- insomnia episode ii — the attack of the blahs
OK, the fact that I am still awake almost guarantees that I will be unable to wake up at the proper hour tomorrow, but I can't get to sleep.
· Read more… - Oct 15
- i said it before and i'll say it again
...an elephant is faithful, 100 percent.
· Read more… - Oct 18
- plus not minus
Like the author of Incidental Findings, I am often seized by doom and gloom, by full-blown major depressive disorder, by neurovegetative signs. Polyphagia, insomnia, hypersomnia, emotional incontinence, fatigue, anxiety. You name it, I get it.
· Read more… - Oct 19
- various artifacts of nerdiness
Again, I need a miniblog.
· Read more… - Oct 23
- everything must change
Nothing ever stays the same.
· Read more… - Oct 26
- vigil
Again, what is it that I want?
· Read more… - Oct 27
- firestorms of the fall
I made it back to L.A. yesterday, after a mostly uneventful trip through the Central Valley, despite my surprising lack of bladder control (I will speak no more of this.) Along the way, I noticed fire trucks from various sections of Northern California—Palo Alto, Fairfield, Vacaville, Monterey, to name a few—heading down the I-5, and getting off at California 58, most likely on their way to provide backup for those fighting the incredible blaze in the San Bernardino Mountains, which eventually cut off the I-15 running through the Cajon Pass.
· Read more… - Oct 28
- knight of pentacles
· Read more…the beginnings are always hard it is the endings that I am used to I have never truly watched the sun rise an angry red fireball beneath the churning sea but I have sighed forlornly at the sunset beneath the crashing waves extinguished by the cap of purple velvet night - Oct 29
- recursion
Again, I am perhaps entering a situation that seems remarkably familiar. (Sisyphus' stone rolling down again.)
· Read more… - Oct 30
- to wish impossible things
I couldn't sleep last night, tossing and turning every which way. Maybe it's because of not taking my medication until mid-day. Maybe it's the smoke in the air. Maybe it's the fact that there are a lot of things I need to get done that I haven't yet done.
· Read more… - Oct 30
- r kelly "step in the name of love"
Does R. Kelly realize how calling himself "the pied-piper of R&B" has some possibly pedophilic associations? (Read "The Pied Piper of Hamelin")
· Read more… - Oct 30
- the games we don't play
As I was telling M the other night, my problem is that I foolishly refuse to accept that it is a game, in the strictest, Richard Dawkins, sense of the word. Not just the reproductive sense of it, but the fact that everything is a game, if you take the definition to the extreme.
· Read more… - Oct 30
- interstate 238
I remember the first time I saw the interstate highway shield with "238" in it and recoiled in horror. I am, much to my dismay, a roadgeek. I have been obsessed with freeways and freeway numbering schemes since I was a little child. (If I had only known that transportation engineering was a career option, my life would've have been so different. See, this is what happens when you grow up in a freeway-dependent city like Los Angeles.)
· Read more… - Oct 31
- let go of the past for God's sake!
Can we say fear, doubt, and uncertainty?
· Read more… - Oct 31
- jason nevins "i'm in heaven (presenting UKNY feat. holly james)"
The last place I visited in the Bay Area on Sunday before taking off for the infernal lands of SoCal was the Jamba Juice at Union Landing. (Tangent: I visted this Jamba Juice ridiculously often, on the way back to Fremont from Children's Oakland. One day I forgot to take off my ID tag, and the girl at the register totally had the "You're doing pediatrics?!" reaction&maybe I'll narrate what that is some other time&and I got all embarrassed.) In any case, I waited an inordinately long duration to get my carbohydrate-packed smoothie, and they started playing this song [
· Read more…link from Amazon ][lyrics from Google ][iTMS search ]. What grabbed my attention was the slightly sped-up sample of "Human Nature" by Michael Jackson.