May 2003

May 3
The Unstuck Piece of Tape (Lysis of Adhesions)

The more things change…

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May 4
The Spell Is Broken

The end of another chapter. Time continues to fly.

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May 7
I'm Not the One Who's Crazy!

Schizophrenia. Maybe I do need to be on medication.

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May 10
Mantra

Fear not of men because men must die.

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May 13
The Promise of New Beginnings

It isn't until now that I appreciate the deceptive nature of the month of May. I suppose that, ever since I was a child, May has always meant endings, but also, the promise of new beginnings. The final full month of school, with glimpses of summer ahead. But I've grown to learn that, more often than not, such promises [don't] come to fruition.

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May 13
False Promise

May has always been fraught with false promise
    dreams of love
        fire, hope
        endings
Conceived in the cradle of springs
Grown gravid then stillborn come cold winter
        And STILL I wish.

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May 16
The Matrix Reloaded — Unreal City (SPOILERS!)

The Prophecy shall be fulfilled. Every city is a manifestation of Unreal City—Babylon, Rome, London, New York, Chicago, L.A., everywhere and nowhere.

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May 17
Curiouser and Curiouser

I am Alice in fucking Wonderland right now. It’s only a matter of time until the shit hits the fan and the Jabberwock comes chomping on my ass.

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May 18
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

See the luck I’ve had would make a good man turn bad.

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May 18
Fidgety

I know what is going to happen, but I guarantee I’m still going to feel like crap.

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May 19
These Dreams

As real as it seems, it was only in my dreams. (Help me, help me! I’m trapped in the 1980’s!)

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May 19
I'll Send an S.O.S. to the World

I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle.

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May 20
Game Over

And yet: Insert Coin to Continue. Damn.

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May 22
Time Marches On

Taking my head out of my ass at least to catch a breath.

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May 22
My Life Is Whack

That’s right, folks. Tear your hair out along with me.

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May 24
premature death

I dreamt this a month or two ago, but it has popped into my mind again. In my dream, my widow (and, yes, it is a particular woman I am friends with whom I will leave nameless, although trust me it isn't who you think, whomever you are thinking of)—she is with my son in some park. (Childhood memories make me want to think that it is Griffith Park. Or maybe the La Brea Tar Pits.) It's kind of a haunting idea. Imagine, if I actually eventually fell in love and got married and had a kid, only to die at an early age. Well. My mom always teased me that because I have small ears, that I would have a short life. And I have already had a very cinematic dream of my death scene (which I might narrate in this space sometime if I haven't already.) Not that I believe in prophecies or anything. Trust me. My foresight has always missed the marked.

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May 24
Movie Night

In tribute to Virginia Madsen.

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May 26
If Seurat Had Written A Blog

A rather heavy-handed analogy. Impressions of an evening wobbling out of control.

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May 26
Yesterday

I can’t stay/And keep living this lie/I finally found the strength to say goodbye/I’m on my way/Nothing can change my mind/I’m leaving behind what we had/Yesterday

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May 26
Signs of an Intractable Situation

It’s all so simple, and yet….

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May 31
The Road Goes Ever On and On — Revisited

Ah, to return from exile. Does nothing ever last? At least longer than an effervescent moment?

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