1999
Jul 1999 Aug 1999 Sep 1999 Oct 1999 Dec 1999Jul
- Jul 19
- The Open Seas
Since this is the beginning of my self-imposed exile, I thought I’d transcribe it.
· Read more… - Jul 25
- An Unsent Letter
To transcribe this, or not to transcribe this. Well. I wonder if this will just languish unread, and what will happen if it doesn't. Oh well. Too late now. Names and identifying details have been elided to protect the innocent. Hi! How are you?….
· Read more… - Jul 26
- Uniquity
What is it that makes me think that I have been set apart, that I am a unique, special part of the universe? That I have been created to achieve a set purpose? And yet there is also in me the despair, the disbelief, the desire to shirk this not-so-voluntary responsibility. And yet I cannot disbelieve. But, yet, what is my purpose? Faith lets me believe that I will know when I get there, but skeptical doubt has me fear that my path has slipped out from under my feet, and that I am operating on mistaken assumptions.
· Read more… - Jul 27
- Sense of Purpose
Another attempt at trying to make sense of things.
· Read more… - Jul 29
- Conceited
Mother always said I was special. I think I’d be better off if I didn’t believe it. But what can you do when you have utang ng loob?
· Read more…
Aug
- Aug 6
- The Day a Star Exploded on the Earth
The universe may not be random, but we'll never know. Our sense need noise. That's how they work—discerning between noise that is interesting and important and that which is not. The human mind can probably only handle a certain range of signal to noise, too low, and it can't discern anything, too high, and you get overwhelmed (or distortion, like pumping the input too high on an amp.)
· Read more… - Aug 7
- From the Notebook of the Renaissance Man Wannabe
Pseudo-philosophico-scientifico mumbo jumbo from an obviously bored, boring person.
· Read more… - Aug 10
- As unto the Father
The days have just been zipping by, and before I forget, I thought I'd share why I made that random comment about the nature of Fate (also equivalent to the human brain's necessity to find meta-patterns)—obviously said phenomenon is highly variable among the poulation, but that's beside the point.
· Read more… - Aug 17
- Mutation and Evolution of Bitstreams
The process by which random noise gets incorporated into a message
· Read more… - Aug 18
- User as Definer
…I don't see anything wrong with the "user as definer" paradigm. It even seems very egalitarian to me. Despite negative connotations of the broader usage of "user". "Using" is probably one of the basic defining concepts of intelligence—notice how tool usage is not simply limited to the human species, but it definitely gave us a competitive advantage, and it is probably a hallmark of most successful (in a biological sense) species (that is, complex species.)
· Read more… - Aug 21
- The Economy as a Living Organism
All living organisms are dependent on steady states:
· Read more… - Aug 22
- Dreams
Dream #1
· Read more… - Aug 23
- My Training As a Wizard — Episode IV
Why do I kid myself? I feel like my Fate is pretty much sealed, yet I'd rather not accept it.
· Read more… - Aug 28
- Complex Processes
All complex processes (life, economies, the Internet) occur upon a matrix of complexly organized homologous units that, observed in short time scales, appear to defy the laws of thermodynamics.
· Read more… - Aug 28
- Art Ideas
An electromicrograph-like etching of a 2D flower and the sky stained red.
· Read more… - Aug 28
- I Know My Desire
I know my desire
· Read more…
and yet I do not know
how I can make it Be - Aug 28
- Hope - First Draft
Hope
· Read more…
is sweet honey
but is also like
bee stings in my mouth - Aug 28
- Hope - Final
Hope
· Read more…
is sweet honey
but is also bee stings in my mouth - Aug 28
- Dawn
Dawn
· Read more…
Sep
- Sep 7
- The Summation of All Consequences
The HTML is, in some sick way, slow. Perhaps I HAVE learned to write faster than I type. I don't know why I delude myself (on several levels at once, no less), thinking that somehow I'll resolve this madness by writing it all down, but I suppose I will know the summation of all consequences on, of all days, my birthday. Yes, all my questions will be asnwered, and I will be free to plot my course in as haphazard a manner as I might like (assuming the worst. It's easier that way.)
· Read more… - Sep 9
- Repetition
I started typing this in, but then I thought that I should write, but then again… ah, what a conundrum. I'm torn between pen and paper vs. keyboard and monitor. The former has [the] advantage of the satisfaction of generating a sizable mass of dead tree and the ability to peruse my jotting without needing electricity. The [latter] is advantageous in as much as I'd like to HTMLize my thoughts and present them to the wwworld… but then again, that might not be such a great idea. I've been saying that my thoughts go faster using keyboard and monitor than they do with pen and paper, but I suppose I could fix that with more practice. And I suppose it's a little more authentic with all these scribbled out mistakes. Man, my penmanship has degraded rather markedly.
· Read more… - Sep 18
- Discomfort
I am forcing myself to write, because I don't want to right now… I feel like I've got to learn to do things I'm not comfortable with.
· Read more… - Sep 27
- Ideas
Been a while since I've actually written down stuff. I suppose everything is in full swing now—the book is begun, I've a better idea of what I want to do with my life, finals are in a couple of weeks. It's actually quite frightening—as if I never have enough time.
· Read more… - Sep 27
- Loneliness
Let's talk about loneliness. It is, after all, [redacted]'s birthday, two years since my debacle. I still love her, if you can call my mania love. But I don't know what the point of this is. I suppose I miss the idea of being loved, of being important, in a unique way, to one person alone.
· Read more…
Oct
- Oct 3
- The Parable of the Cave
Something about taking thoughts/thought systems/memes and analyzing them as discrete particles—have you not created a new mind pattern, less exact than what you are describing, like what a mirror does, specifically, a pair of mirrors facing each other, or like loss compression algorithms.
· Read more… - Oct 23
- Winter and Fall in NYC
Winter and Fall in NYC
· Read more…
Faint kiss of love, frozen, land softly on my cheek
melting, lingers the cold
Amidst the darkness and the great heaving throng
the bustle of the crowd and the bluster of the wind
Stinging, icy teardrops, scoring my cheek
I am forgoteen amidst Winter's blast
in a city of twelve million souls
where I am alone.
Dec
- Dec 6
- First Annual Snowfall Report
I should have been doing this all along, all this time. Though I suppose November was not truly barren. I've but to send the fruit of my labor out. I have no good reason to procrastinate.
· Read more…