Jul 2006
- Jul 1
- dc universe
Just watched “Superman Returns” with my brother and my dad yesterday and I find it bizarre that the city of Metropolis is New York City (while Gotham City is depicted as Chicago.) I found the Messianic allusions a little disturbing (although more sincere than most of the insanity spouted off by Christian fundamentalists) <rant style="post-modernist post-colonialist" method="deconstruction" tone="hyperbolic ironic">What person-of-color would feel comfortable with their savior depicted as a square-jawed, blue-eyed, tall, and muscular specimen of the Aryan race, who is omnipotent and all-seeing? (At least the bad guys aren’t homogenously depicted as blacks and Chicano/Latino.)</rant>
· Read more… - Jul 9
- consolation
I am trying to trace down the etymology of the word “consolation,” wondering if it is necessarily related to “isolation.” Alas, there are no clear answers, but are there ever?
· Read more… - Jul 10
- self-annihilation is painless
Nothing like Radiohead to give you a sense of futility and meaninglessness.
· Read more… - Jul 12
- saving the imaginary world
There is a city I dream of repeatedly that I believe is supposed to be somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, either in the U.S. or in Canada. The first time I dreamt about it, I thought that it was Seattle, although most of its features don’t at all correspond to what little I know of Seattle, and it doesn’t match with Vancouver either. The dream I had last night seemed to associate it with Calgary, but this is clearly wrong since it is not on the ocean, nor is it near any other bodies of water.
· Read more… - Jul 15
- old is not up
The funny thing is that, despite my lack of organization, despite my disdain of long-term plans and schedules, my dislike of homogenous order, my claustrophobia in the face of structure, I am, deep-down inside, a control freak.
· Read more… - Jul 21
- the conservation of mass and energy (a counterpoint to “donnie darko”)
Excerpt from Encyclopedia Mechanica Temporis (18th edition):
· Read more… - Jul 23
- return of saturn and other miscellany
This particular existential crisis all began over dinner at Tantra in Silver Lake. (Tantra is this hip quasi-Indian restaurant with excellent hipster ambience, which I enjoy in this snide, ironic, too-cool-for-this sort of way.) Joce was in town very briefly—I hadn’t seen her since my (naturally) ill-planned trip to the Big Apple some nine months ago. Joce was the de facto leader of our little clique back in college, and we all had some interesting adventures way back when. Chriscelle, another of my friends from college who is actually the one that I’ve known the longest, came out as well. I haven’t seen her since December. (I am a terrible friend.) She had recently started dating some guy, and somehow, the talk turned to my social life (or the lack thereof.)
· Read more… - Jul 24
- diametrically opposed beliefs
I recall a quote from F Scott Fitzgerald: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” There is coda to this quote that is often ignored, but unfortunately I’m too lazy to look it up. I’m fairly certain that it has something to do with brain damage, though.
· Read more… - Jul 27
- falling from grace
spun like fine threads
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of fraying axons clasping like hands upon
curled, crackly dendrites
like a mad forest of electrical wiring
exploding in a kind of chemical glee - Jul 28
- no man is an island
I think back upon this past spring, when my world contracted upon itself, and I couldn’t keep the darkness back, and how all I could do was hang on and hide in my cocoon.
· Read more… - Jul 28
- hope, and force of will
The problem with me is that as soon as the going gets tough, I start having serious self-doubt. Now, granted, there are a lot of things in life that I am bad at (normal human socialization being one of them), but for the most part, I hold up the illusion of being a functional member of society pretty well. Sure, as soon as the shit hits the fan, I typically want to hide under my bed and cry, but luckily I’m a masochist, and tend to take fallout head-on, right in the kisser.
· Read more… - Jul 28
- spin
dreaming
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wheel of fire
blue green white
the twisting paths of sunlight
beams of starlight glinting across the warp and weave
of cosmic strings and singularities
mathematical catastrophes
eternal darkness - Jul 29
- final sky
I am singular
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in this effervescing madness of destiny
swirling, quantum foam roiling
madness seeking
I am dreaming again
facing the finality of these decisions
made smeared across time, indistinct
and indefinable - Jul 31
- insomnia again
Another month gone, and we enter the final full month of summer, and I can’t help but wonder where my peace and clarity has gone. A month ago, you would not find me in this state, longing for things that cannot possibly be, pining and hopeless.
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