I think back upon this past spring, when my world contracted upon itself, and I couldn’t keep the darkness back, and how all I could do was hang on and hide in my cocoon.

And I think of how my sojourn in S.D. started off 2 years ago, bright and full of hope, thinking that things were bound to change.

I’m not sure how much things have really changed. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude, and I’m trying to hold on to the realization that things will be different. Not that things I hope for will necessarily materialize, just that whatever happens will be unforeseen and surprising, possibly in a good way, but maybe not.

I think I’m growing weary of solitude, but I’m rather unsure of how to change this situation. I keep thinking of being resigned to thousands of days by myself, lurking in the shadows, consigned to watching other people live their lives. I will be a ghost, maybe just evaporating into nothingness.

Whatever will be, will be, I guess.