Jun 2014

Jun 8
i really should know better by now

My standard excuse is that I wouldn't know what love is if it bit me in the ass, but after all this time and heartbreak, that's not really true. Although I suppose it's not really about recognizing love, but about recognizing that spark that has the potentiality of becoming… something more.

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Jun 13
dilemmas

I'm not really sure which is worse: the pangs of this impossible longing, or the emptiness of knowing there's really nothing left to hope for except the sweet release of death.

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Jun 15
everything happens for a reason but sometimes that reason is i'm stupid and make poor decisions

Who am I kidding? I know what I did wrong
but my errors are mostly sins of omission rather than commission
chief of which was not answering the call of need, or the call of love, even, perhaps
and snuffing out the embers before they might catch
for unfounded fears of catastrophic firestorms and searing tragedy

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Jun 15
still not still

To know it's possible in a general sense is one thing. To know that this one thing is impossible is another. One of these days, maybe. One of these days it will be right.

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Jun 17
you can't hurry greatness

"A life-changing transformation isn't going to happen in less than a month. Get a hold of yourself." — things I have to remind myself

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Jun 17
broken then bound

My bedroom window looks out west, towards the last glow of the day and to the north lays a valley where chrome streams of cars crisscross the gleaming white concrete slashing through the wind, roaring like the sea lulling me to sleep like the tide crashing upon the sands

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Jun 22
stay with me / I won't back down

It was pointed out to me that "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith sounds like "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty and now I can't keep the two songs separate in my head.

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Jun 26
Sam Smith "Good Thing"

I guess wasn't kidding that this album is basically all about unrequited love. I heard this song for the first time on KCRW last night and just from the lyrics figured out who it was. And I groaned in self-recognition and then laughed hysterically :D (originally posted on Facebook)

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Jun 26
stay with me / I won't back down (addendum)

These two songs have now merged together in my head: "Stay With Me" sounds like "I Won't Back Down" (originally posted on Facebook)

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Jun 30
prophecy

In the silent hours ere the waxing light
I know I will meet her some day soon
and she will be with me
and I will not remember
what life was like before I met her

But that was just a dream
dissipating in the drear of the morning fog
and the light of day dawns
and I dare not hope

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