Jul 2012

Jul 1
the problem with people

You want a situation that cannot exist. You may think it should exist because you can imagine it, but if you unravel and follow all the threads that comprise the current state of the universe right now at this very second, you will realize you cannot get there from here, at least not without expending far more than it's probably worth.

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Jul 7
a single letter difference, and too much free time

I found myself thinking about the last section of The Lord of the Rings (that got cut out of the movies): the "Scouring of the Shire" chapter. And it occurred to me that "scouring" and "scourging" are only one letter apart. And while in common parlance, "scourging" just means whipping, I started thinking about the Scourging of Lordaeron in World of Warcraft, where cultists transform an entire kingdom's populace into ghouls and zombies, and so, what if Saruman was a necromancer, and he basically turned all the hobbits undead….

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Jul 9
years after it was much too, much too late

It's weird how random memories will sneak up on me. Usually while I'm driving, but I suppose that really shouldn't be that surprising since I live in Southern California, and odds are, I'm in my car.

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Jul 11
the pursuit of happiness is in vain

I'm trying to figure out where this thought came from, trying to tease apart my memory to determine who taught this to me, or how I learned it. For as far as I can remember, I've taken it as a personal article of faith that you cannot really chase happiness. Maybe it's just an extrapolation of the conventional wisdom that you can't buy happiness. But happiness is not something acquirable, certainly not like you can obtain the newest iPhone, or even the acquiescence of corrupt politicians in certain regions of the world of ill-repute. You can't realistically set a goal like "in 3 months, I will be happy", certainly not the same way you can say "in 3 months, I will lose 20 pounds" or even "in 3 months, I will be married."

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Jul 14
systems of magic

Ever since I heard of Arthur C. Clarke's Third Law—any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic—I've often found myself thinking of how magic would end up being studied in a post-scientific revolution civilization. I know a lot of fantasy authors don't like making their systems of magic explicit, because it inevitably makes it magic less magical (and not making it explicit is also incidentally in line with Tolkien's thoughts on how magic should work: internally logically consistent the way logic in fairy tales and dreams are internally consistent, no matter how weird.)

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Jul 17
searching for flow

The words used to come easy
Like wind upon my brow
like deep frozen memories suddenly thawing in the heat of the sun's blazing
like the ebb and flow of blood through my veins
and into my heart
so full, and then oh so empty
a microcosm of crashing tides and shifting winds
and deep endless night

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Jul 20
control

The sad confluence of events, starkly rendered
in terse words over the static of the airwaves
confronting you with your own mortality
you've got no control
there was nothing that could've stopped this
you don't know the reasons
how could you possibly know the solutions?
how could you possibly know who to blame?

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Jul 25
the hour that will probably eventually kill me

This is always the hour that can bring me to utter despair, after the sun disappears beneath the horizon, and I'm alone with nothing but my thoughts. But this too will pass. Anything is bearable if you wait long enough. One way or the other.

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