Apr 2001
- Apr 1
- Happy New Year
April is the cruelest month. Spring is teasing me. I hate how desolate the Midwest is, although I wouldn’t mind actually living in Chicago. I finally found a Playstation 2. I had a lot of clever things to say, but I can’t get them to come out.
· Read more… - Apr 1
- Fear and Loathing in North Chicago
Daylight Saving Time is some sort of weird mind-control thing—I feel slightly drugged—does melatonin really have psychotropic effects? What do I watch next to continue on with my Benicio del Toro marathon? Capitalism has reached the metastatic phase and the end point is assured. The real issue is how do we deal with the meltdown? (Hint: I’m not talking about the Dow Jones here.)
· Read more… - Apr 2
- A Quote from JLB
A quote about hell and insanity.
· Read more… - Apr 3
- Disarray
When will I ever learn to leave well enough alone. How the Mafia, the Simpsons, and my brother and my sister taught me the importance of family. Even when I want to strangle them. (I am not a violent guy. Really.)
· Read more… - Apr 4
- Pfft… Just Like That
Money, love, family, and the Simpsons.
· Read more… - Apr 5
- Netritus
I clearly have not gotten enough sleep. I am again coining nonsense words like netritus (Internet detritus).
· Read more… - Apr 6
- Zzap! (The Beauty of Resignation)
Lightning. I give up. For now.
· Read more… - Apr 8
- Passion
Very bad translations, corporate doom, and the mutual exclusiveness of an Empire and a future
· Read more… - Apr 9
- You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em
Show me your poker face! You call that a poker face! Witchhazel, styptic, and death by crucifixion in the ICD-9 manual. Normalcy is basically impossible at this juncture.
· Read more… - Apr 10
- If I Don't Believe in It, It Will Go Away
Money, money, money, money… money!! Fuck capitalism. Sony, why are you trying to kill me? I am definitely a hack writer who couldn’t pull of a decent plot line if my life depended on it.
· Read more… - Apr 12
- Code
I’m glad I’m friends with whom I’m friends with. As cheesy as it sounds, it’ll all work out in the end. Somehow. And a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. On another note… well, why not. Just spill it. This was all just a test of the emergency broadcast system.
· Read more… - Apr 13
- Irresistible Force
Adding more shit to the crapper known as the Internet.
· Read more… - Apr 14
- Piss and Vinegar (I Am the Anonymous Coward)
The Free Speech Movement at Berkeley. Rescind SP-1/SP-2 and restore affirmative action. Macs vs Wintel, the neverending saga. (The penguin hides in waiting.) Flame people who send essentialist lists of Filipino and Filipino-American characteristics until their keyboards catch on fire.
· Read more… - Apr 15
- The Colon
This family thing is really getting to me. Maybe it’s all biological? I am a clockwork orange after all….
· Read more… - Apr 16
- When?
Snow in April.
· Read more… - Apr 18
- Accumulata
I really think I hate being happy. (“Life. Hate it or loathe it, you can’t ignore it.”) Some other random things that I must dump out of my brain before they contaminate everything.
· Read more… - Apr 21
- Shrugging Off Existentialism
Philosophy and abstractions. Low self-esteem due to a superiority complex. The balance of opposing forces. The mammalian inability to be precise. Why can’t I be normal?
· Read more… - Apr 22
- Contradictions, Contraindications, Mental Masturbation
Recursive discursive meta-meditation. Blog culture. Oops, I didn’t get to it. Why won’t you listen to me?
· Read more… - Apr 22
- Church on Time
Random oscillations of sound waves
· Read more… - Apr 23
- Convergence
Pancreatitis sucks. Getting to Europa via Antarctica, the International Space Station, and Mars.
· Read more… - Apr 24
- Killing Time
I am still on edge, just waiting for catastrophe. What's wrong with me? I really should cut back on the caffeine… damn physiological dependency….
· Read more… - Apr 25
- The Final Frontier
Space exploration. The dangers of information and revisionist history. The need for expansion. A way to use the military for peaceful means.
· Read more… - Apr 26
- I Can't Let You Do That, Dave
A server on the Internation Space Station crashes. A passage on Heinrich Klüver
· Read more… - Apr 26
- Fear of Flying
My definitions of fun and friendship. Basically, what I want out of life.
· Read more… - Apr 27
- Average Wait Time—15 Minutes
Standing, stations, status….
· Read more… - Apr 27
- Guessing about the Geography
I thought I had given up on this, what with the rationale for this monolithic screed having evaporated two months ago and the fact that I have brought my madness online, but I guess unless I finally do get a laptop, I'm going to have to put my thoughts somewhere when I'm on a trip. And I did promise to use up all the paper in this notebook anyway.
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- Apr 29
- The Flipside of Despair
Hope is nothing but the flipside of despair
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running on empty, still, something
burning like acid, chilling like frost
veins all tapped out, and yet you still bleed
you lie there all tingling
upon bloodstained sheets
no game left to play, the dice always come up snake-eyes
and still your eyes flutter open
with the kiss of the sunlight - Apr 30
- Words Come Unbidden
I did not want to write the words
· Read more…
come unbidden
did not want to give form, give life
to the shapeless nightmare haunting my dreams
and yet the words still come flowing
like waves, like the ebb and flow
of blood welling from a slit throat
oozing with every rattling breath