Oct 2004

Oct 2

fall of the towers

Just finished Samuel Delany's book "Fall of the Towers." The title caught me for obvious reasons, although the book was written well in the '60's, during the social turmoil of that era. Interestingly, despite being written 40 years ago, it is astoundingly relevant to today. The story is about an Empire that has found that it no longer has any space to expand, causing economic turmoil. The tanking economy is making jobs scarce, and unemployment causes an increase in crime. The society depicted takes to locking up their criminals in mines, but even that isn't enough to stem the tide of discontentment and decay, so they decide to go to war, against an enemy that may not really exist. At least, there is no real "other," the political and financial intrigues in the Empire come together that certain events look like attacks by an outside enemy. When they discover that there really is no enemy, they nonetheless keep up the pretense of war, the people in power refusing to admit to themselves the disaster they have wrought. It still isn't enough to control the malcontent by sending them off to war. And in the end, the made-up war gets out of control, and backfires on the Empire, and eventually, the Empire crumbles.

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Oct 13

Knowing That the World Was Right

In the light of day, my despair evaporates. with the sun shining, it's hard to imagine the aching sadness, the weight of 10 years of wandering the desert, alone and forsaken, suddenly coming down upon me in the middle of the night, unannounced and unexpected.

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Oct 14

Everything Is All Wrong

So we enter the realm of darkness. The underworld of the night shift, the hours of the graveyard. My loneliness is a palpable presence, a solid mass. Like rotten meat sitting in my stomach. And I'm too tired to vomit it up.

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Oct 15

Incantations upon the Bit-Ether

This lifestyle is not conducive to my mental health.

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Oct 15

Pathetic

I have completely pissed away an evening roaming through blogs and xangas. The sun is coming out, and man, do I feel pathetic.

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Oct 16

Oh No, Not Again

Why is it that someone can say certain things, and they don't mean anything near the way I think they mean?

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Oct 27

Trapped in the Bowels of a Hospital

it's kind of creepy if i think too hard about it. but what is there really to do when you're trapped in the bowels of a hospital at 3 in the morning, with naught but an internet connection to keep you company?

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