concepts: climbing out of the blast crater

Perspective is hard to achieve if you’re hallucinating.

2002

May

2002 May 27

Time runs out.

I don't know about this (see the second to the last paragraph.) I think that, over time, irrational behavior is increasingly irrational, and rational behavior becomes irrational. (Entropy always wins.) In the end, it's all meaningless chaos. Or as Douglas Adams put it (in my quite oblique interpretation of his quote):

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2004

January

2004 Jan 27

fire and ice

flat lands, icy waste
curling smoke, steam rising
the city breathes in, breathes out
like a sleeping dragon

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March

2006

November

2006 Nov 17

definitely broken, and unfixable

What is it in me that drives me to wander the empty ether on a Friday night, bereft of companionship? Why is it that I torture my mind with “could’ve beens”? Or worse yet, things that couldn’t’ve possibly ever happened, they were just thin, dry yearnings escaping from the cracks in my soul, as impossible then as they are now.

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2007

September

2007 Sep 9

blast crater

I guess there is no recovering from this. Even 10 years out.

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2008

January

2008 Jan 31

clawing to the surface

Wow. It's been a while since I've felt this way. As I gazed mesmerized by the spinning barrels of the slot machine, I felt suddenly suffocated by an awful feeling of despair and loneliness. It was almost as bad as being short of breath. The feeling eventually passed, but I just feel spent, and my muscles are all tight with anxiousness.

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