tags: Wound That Will Not Heal

2000

December

2000 Dec 5
Revelation

It figures that just when I'm about to write down an important revelation, something comes up. So let's see if I can catch what I was talking about.

· Read more…

2001

January

2001 Jan 17
Trembling

Holy mother of God! Why am I trembling? Something like joy courses through my veins, but the tears are waiting to fall. Will it be like this for the rest of my waking hours, to stand still, lost in a fog of indecision, while happiness is something that happens to other people?

· Read more…

June

2001 Jun 18
Physician, Heal Thy Self

The wound inside my heart.

· Read more…

2002

November

2002 Nov 16
Wound Check - Post Op Day 1

Recurrent acute mental emesis (another brain barf)

· Read more…

December

2002 Dec 8
Vector Tracings

I remember white outlines on a black background, kind of like a blueprint being drawn before my eyes. I don't know. Like a concept diagram. There was a road, or a railway. I know: as if reality were being generated as I cast my eyes upon it. More concretely, like a primitive 3D shooter (like Doom, or Counterstrike) whose graphics engine relied only on vector tracings, and which could not keep up with realtime. I suppose, if I really knew what I was doing, I would try to approximate it with a Flash animation, but such as it is.

· Read more…

2003

January

2003 Jan 13
Serenity Now!

Oh yes. I am a bitter, resentful bastard.

· Read more…

2007

July

2007 Jul 7
all we need is time

in the fog of indecision
the clarity of the dawn
in the anxious disappointment of missed chances
the cold, hard certainty of inescapable destiny
in the silence of defeat
the distant roar of victory

· Read more…

September

2007 Sep 9
blast crater

I guess there is no recovering from this. Even 10 years out.

· Read more…

2008

May

2008 May 2
cause is not reason

It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that causation means intentionality. Lots of things happen where you can trace the chain of events, see exactly how one thing leads to another, and all of these things could be devoid of intention. While each decision may be made by a rational agent, the sum is not greater than its parts.

· Read more…