tags: doom

2001

January

2001 Jan 17
Trembling

Holy mother of God! Why am I trembling? Something like joy courses through my veins, but the tears are waiting to fall. Will it be like this for the rest of my waking hours, to stand still, lost in a fog of indecision, while happiness is something that happens to other people?

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August

2001 Aug 3
Anno 3 in Exilio (An Acute Bout of Homesickness)

Where in the hell did this come from. Some random eruptions from the subconscious.

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2002

May

2002 May 25
There Is No Problem…

…so big you can’t run away from it.

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December

2002 Dec 8
Post

“Are you postal today?” the on-call resident asked the post-call resident. No, I suppose none of this is really coherent at all.

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2008

July

2008 Jul 13
the joy of repetition

I am still waiting for the veritable hammer to fall. I can only expect that it will happen exactly when I'm least expecting it.

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2008 Jul 15
abandon in place

It's about 3 a.m. and I'm utterly exhausted. I've pushed myself to the brink for no good reason and I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm not entirely certain what I'm trying to prove here. I try a reconfiguration to see if it will make a difference, and I guess I've proven to myself what she knew all along once upon a time, that my attempts at fixing things end up being mere rearrangements. I don't so much clean as reshuffle. Things move around, but nothing really changes.

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August

2008 Aug 10
charm (and my appalling lack thereof)

There is a woman whose name I don't even know for which I have this desperate, raw attraction to. I see her from time to time, as we occupy opposite ends of an extremely large social millieu, as friends of friends of friends of friends. I don't know what it is about her, but I find my eyes wandering toward her if I don't monitor myself, even as she's hanging on the arm of some guy. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've never had an attraction like this before.

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2010

April

2010 Apr 9
picking through the debris

in the shadow of the white mountain gleaming
still ice-crowned though the cherry trees blossom
the sky pale blue as the warmth of daylight fades
I'm lost in a memory of a dream forsaken

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2016

May

2016 May 19
The Destruction of the Republican Party and the Decline of the U.S.

Stepping back further in order to fully admire the spectacle, the whole narrative arc of the Party of Lincoln transforming into the Party of Trump is quite breathtaking.

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2016 May 19
Trump Leads Clinton

Caveats: yeah, it's a Fox News poll, the margin is well within the error range, polls this far out from the general election are mostly useless, Trump has already clinched the nomination while Clinton hasn't, etc., etc., but, still, it kind of freaks me out. [#‎AllHailPresidentTrump](/tag/all-hail-president-trump "tag: All Hail President Trump • mahiwaga"

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2016 May 20
Oklahoma

I am flabbergasted.

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