tags: regret

2000

July

2000 Jul 26

Resignation

I don't know why I didn't feel so bad today. Maybe I've resigned myself to my fate. Maybe e-mailing everybody and their mom let me vent a little. I mean, sure, I balked a little when I saw [redacted]'s e-mail sitting in my inbox. [I was] afraid. But [reading it] I didn't feel much, just a [light touch] of regret. I've no intention of returning to L.A. any time soon. As I've said, I've begun to equate it with happiness and [also] with being trapped.

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2002

March

2002 Mar 4

Whirling (Regretting Regret)

“I would like a place I could call my own/Have a conversation on the telephone/Wake up every day it would be a start/I would not complain of my wounded heart.”

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2007

August

2007 Aug 3

vaguely troublesome

Some inchoate misgivings haunt me this early morning. My confidence is at once bolstered and yet shaken.

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December

2007 Dec 10

still chasing starlight/the relationship of music and spacetime

I think it might’ve been Sirius, the dog star, in the southern sky that lit my way tonight, like a beacon, brighter than the ambient glow of the urban sprawl before me, but I only have a faint grasp of celestialography, so I could be wrong.

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2014

July

2014 Jul 1

dreaming of morning dew on rose petals

April was the cruelest month
long buried memories disinterred
like a knife wound to the chest
bittersweetness, chances unfulfilled
time lost to sorrow and despair
and yet there was no chance
time transforms chance to inevitability
all hope is lost
Yet I remain

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