I can't believe how much it already feels like autumn.

The mornings are the worst,
when all of the sudden,
you are reminded of all that
failed to come true, of all that is not there
all that has never been, and all that will never be

I don't know why it grieves me so, when I knew this was lost already.

I'm a sucker for these song about unrequited love and failed relationships, failed attempts at connecting. I don't remember when I first heard this song, I just remember it was while the sun was shining down upon me as i drove south on the I-15 somewhere between Corona and Temecula, a lot happier than I am right now.

there was never anything more than fine gossamer threads of hope
fraying and tenuous, breaking, snapping, tearing with the slightest breeze
the merest whisper
more like a dream than anything else
so that awakening came like a disaster
and the dawn brought nothing but dread

Now his failure is complete
—Darth Vader

I left work this morning singing that line: “Between the click of the light and the start of the dream.” Orion gleamed through the clouds. The crescent moon was rising, and Venus also glittered in the east like a jewel, heralding the rising sun in less than an hour.

How did I get here?

Before I find myself dragged back down into the pit of self-pity as I reminisce rather mawkishly, I thought I would share some mashups that I thought were particularly clever.

1995: Deep wounds. Ugly scars. And then: new, unfounded hopes and unfulfillable wishes. I learn a secret that, in the end, fucks me up bad, but which I am bound by honor to keep. (And would the outcome really have changed if I had betrayed it? Except for the damnation of my soul?)

I’m not really sure what triggered this strange mood of mine. My mind wanders back to the end of my college days, unearthing a lot of bittersweet memories. (And do I even have any memories that just have the sweet and not the bitter?)

Maybe this story of fighter planes with nukes accidentally left on board flying over the U.S. was the genesis of one of the dreams I had the other day.

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. — Catherine Aird

Reminiscing about an Atari 400 game.

Wanted: mp3s. Not wanted: spam.

Neat things you can do with unordered lists and CSS.

What if the Axis won?

We’ve got cheap hardware and free software. All we need is wi-fi everywhere, and we’re on our way to ubiquitous computing. Microsoft is missing the boat. Apple is the wave of the future. Democracy is all about “Worse is Better,” and not “The Right Thing™”.

The HTML is, in some sick way, slow. Perhaps I HAVE learned to write faster than I type. I don't know why I delude myself (on several levels at once, no less), thinking that somehow I'll resolve this madness by writing it all down, but I suppose I will know the summation of all consequences on, of all days, my birthday. Yes, all my questions will be asnwered, and I will be free to plot my course in as haphazard a manner as I might like (assuming the worst. It's easier that way.)