Returning to the dominance hierarchy framework and the concept of the alpha male, it's true that dominance and submission does exist. It's not a myth per se.

In my dreams, evil is always man-shaped
the cockroaches and the worms
fill me with loathing
but they do not fill me with despair
hatred
disgust

something like home. I am so lost.

car blogging? Unwise. Probably dangerous.

so what this allows is drunken blogging. Perfect.

I don't know why I worry so much about things that haven't happened yet, and aren't going to happen any time soon. It's not like I can do anything now to mitigate whatever will happen.

Despite my rhetoric of never wanting to fit in, of always wanting to be strikingly unique, of striving to stand out, to make my own unique mark on the world, I am burdened by evolutionary baggage. Like it or not, human beings long to belong. To be one of the tribe.

I ran across this phrase on a random blog, and this phrase happens to be a major tenet of Buddhism. I have waxed philosophically much about the Art of Not Wanting and it is such a tricky thing. As I’ve noted, this particular state of bliss has nothing to do with the avolitional state which undergirds atypical depression and schizophrenia. Instead of a lack, an emptiness, the Art of Not Wanting is a sense of completion.

In tribute to Virginia Madsen.

I dreamt this a month or two ago, but it has popped into my mind again. In my dream, my widow (and, yes, it is a particular woman I am friends with whom I will leave nameless, although trust me it isn't who you think, whomever you are thinking of)—she is with my son in some park. (Childhood memories make me want to think that it is Griffith Park. Or maybe the La Brea Tar Pits.) It's kind of a haunting idea. Imagine, if I actually eventually fell in love and got married and had a kid, only to die at an early age. Well. My mom always teased me that because I have small ears, that I would have a short life. And I have already had a very cinematic dream of my death scene (which I might narrate in this space sometime if I haven't already.) Not that I believe in prophecies or anything. Trust me. My foresight has always missed the marked.