This is no way to live: always fearing the future
Hope is the only thing that will get me through this
unfounded faith better than drifting unmoored
on the uneasy sea where nightmares dwell in the depths
        and still I drift

Something fundamental is surely broken inside me
                      one of the central pillars that made me human
now I am just this darkling shadow
    playing the part of a man
  and going through the motions of living

I sitll dream of rebuilding the ruins of my heart
of somehow clearing the vast wreckage
but I have neither the strength nor the courage
        so I linger on

The turnings I might have taken
to void this disastrous course
are only stories I tell myself
          consoling myself with alternate timelines
          bifurcating universes
              an infinity of infinities
          imaginable but never palpable
and yet how I long for your embrace

in some branch of the multiverse
you and I did truly fall in love
and distance was no barrier
and I had the strength and courage you sought
      but it is only a memory of a dream
      swiftly fading in the light of the scorching sun

And yet you are still my inspiration and my muse
(I never wished this misfortune of metting me
    upon you.)

So I idly fret. What is one more year
upon the refuse pile of years fraught
    with loneliness
I’ll get by. I always have. Until I can’t
        but this is why I never think that far ahead.