The words come bubbling up all of the sudden

There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends.

The light at the end of the tunnel
becomes the first gasp of air
lungs burning, heart straining
breaking through the water’s surface
at the end comes the start
and it is never finished
and the long count begins again

(If I could just win through without breaking
not stumble and fall as I cross the threshold
is it too much to ask not to have to crawl across the finish line?)
blood-stained, streaked with tears, covered in sweat
I will get there
ever unlooked for, unheralded, unwanted
my destiny is inexorable
and this cup will not pass

there is, and always will be
the sunlight
and the blue sky
and maybe my heart will sing just a little
and forget the decades of sorrow for a moment
there is starlight, moonlight
to guide my path
always seeking, always searching

But you must remind me, little one. When I… when I lose myself—when I lose her—you must remind me that I am still searching, still waiting… that I have never forgotten her, never turned from all she taught me. I sit in this place… I sit… but in my mind, in my poor mind, I am always away with her….