mahiwaga

I'm not really all that mysterious

switching back from simplelog to mephisto

In case you didn’t notice, I also switched my blog engine again. Now that Rails 2.0 is out, I thought I’d give Mephisto (from svn) another spin, and it seems to be working relatively well, much better than when I last tried it, although I still get the occasional 500 error.

While I really dug Simplelog’s clean interface and really nice looking, clean themes, it’s got a really tiny community, mostly of non-Rails hackers, and it doesn’t seem like there has been much ongoing development since [2.0.2][5] was released more than 10 months ago. Mephisto just seems more active right now.

Eventually, I’ll post the script I used to migrate my entries from Simplelog back to Mephisto.

[5]: http://anonymous@anonymous:svn.simplelog.net/trunk/doc/CHANGELOG “Simplelog 2.0.2 (revision 332)

posted by Author's profile picture mahiwaga

misunderstanding modern medicine

I have finally found a synonym for my embryonic philosophy tha I’ve been calling “The Art of Not Wanting.” Akin to Hindu and Buddhist ideals (where desire brings about suffering),voluntary simplicity is a lifestyle that eschews the excesses of the modern and post-modern era. It has significant bearing on the contemporary environmentalist movement as well as with its intersection with Neomarxism.

But the quote that struck me was how an Amazon reviewer of the book describing this kind of lifestyle stated that “using a public hospital” was among their list of things that would not be considered “viable stylishness.”

First of all, yeah, maybe this kind of lifestyle is impossible for the late 20-something/early 30-something white hipster living in the sophisticated metropolis to contemplate, but even people-of-color who grew up in upper middle class families are familiar with the concepts of being thrifty, simply from hearing stories of their forebears. While I personally don’t know the feeling of abject poverty, my immigrant parents certainly do, and the way they live their lives reflect this, non-withstanding the (now) dual six-figure incomes.

Secondly, probably 90% of the world lives relatively cheaply with at least some style; this kind of comment is, sadly, symptomatic of colonialist elitism.

Thirdly, unless you actually work in health care, you have no idea what you’re talking about with regards to municipal hospitals. While no doubt many of them are stinking cesspools temporarily housing ne’er-do-wells with no chance of survival, pretty much all of them are teaching hospitals, often attached to some rather well known universities. While they may not always be able to afford the technological bells and whistles, they generally practice cutting-edge evidence-based medicine, something that many private practice docs working at community hospitals scoff at despite the rigorous proof that it improves outcomes and cuts costs. In medicine, newness and shinyness does not necessarily equal better health care, and it’s really disturbing that very few people outside of health care actually understand that.

posted by Author's profile picture mahiwaga

axial tilt

The words come bubbling up all of the sudden

There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends.

The light at the end of the tunnel
becomes the first gasp of air
lungs burning, heart straining
breaking through the water’s surface
at the end comes the start
and it is never finished
and the long count begins again


(If I could just win through without breaking
not stumble and fall as I cross the threshold
is it too much to ask not to have to crawl across the finish line?)
blood-stained, streaked with tears, covered in sweat
I will get there
ever unlooked for, unheralded, unwanted
my destiny is inexorable
and this cup will not pass

there is, and always will be
the sunlight
and the blue sky
and maybe my heart will sing just a little
and forget the decades of sorrow for a moment
there is starlight, moonlight
to guide my path
always seeking, always searching

But you must remind me, little one. When I… when I lose myself—when I lose her—you must remind me that I am still searching, still waiting… that I have never forgotten her, never turned from all she taught me. I sit in this place… I sit… but in my mind, in my poor mind, I am always away with her….

posted by Author's profile picture mahiwaga