There is a song in here somewhere
caught in the convolutions of my heart
the tortuous paths, the cliffdrops, the lonely summits
the bitter abysses, this vast desert of ruin
This wasteland of decay

My soul is scourged and flayed
This longing that wraps around itself
without a name, without a voice
soft sweet melody that I can’t seem to recall
I’m lost like a drunken fool in the wilderness
chasing fairies and grasping at stars

Tasting perhaps moonlight, and the briny sea
the wind whipping at me from all sides
this torrent, this deluge, this tempest, it rages
the lighthouse illuminates the sky for a brief moment with a blinding flash

Was love (as I like to imagine it is called) just like that
a moment in time that soon passes
and is forgotten
the familiar darkness returns
as I turn my back upon the sea
draw my coat close and face the shadowy mountains
the faint electric glow of the sodium lamps
and the emptiness of a cheap motel room
this emptiness swirling, gnawing upon itself
biting at me, rasping and scraping
like vermin, like termites,
consuming my soul from the inside
until I am only a dessicated shell that crumbles in ash

With each breath, I am anesthesized
And the deep darkness of unconsciousness
mercifully wraps me in forgetfulness
only in this silence, this void am I whole
not knowing or caring, senseless and still
like a dead thing
breathless and cold

Am I doomed to stare longingly across that trackless sea?
in the dead of the night
surrounded by the crashing of the waves on every side
staring into the darkness
vainly hoping for some sign, some glimmer, some trace
a faint flicker of light on the horizon, growing brighter, coming closer
and that song, that faint melody that I can’t rememeber
and that voice, and maybe I would again know
who I am, and what I was meant to be