It is not entirely clear to me what I had hoped to accomplish tonight, except maybe getting a little tipsy and perhaps even filling my heart with unquenchable longing.

Two beers is clearly not enough to make me maudlin and sad.

But it is beginning to worry me. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything besides regret or indifference. (So maybe not that long ago, but it feels like an eternity.)

Better numbness than pain, I suppose.

I’m trying—desperately trying—to maintain a positive outlook. I may not know the way, but I’ll get to wherever I need to get.

That’s the only thing I know.

Although I’m not always that sure.