Innocently, M asks me why it is that some Asian men get pissed off when they see a white guy dating an Asian woman. M is a Pinay in the Midwest who has only ever dated white guys.

I know that my brother gets irritated by it. M's cousin does as well. While I don't really feel strongly one way or the other, I can understand why some Asian dudes feel that way.

I mean, even I kind of flinched a little when my oldest friend B (who is, yes, a white guy) told me about his wild sexual escapade with this Pinay he used to work with. It was a visceral reaction. I can't really seem to explain it.

Without making it too political and too racially charged, part of it simply the inferiority complex that it foists upon Asian men. In typical chauvanistic fashion, some of us take it as personal affront to our ego. The perception is that it sends the message that Asian men clearly suck.

Now I'm not indicting any individuals here. I'm only meta-interpreting the societal gestalt. It is simply a naieve psychological exploration of the few guys I've met who have this hangup. I honestly don't know what white people think of this phenomenon, although I have certainly met quite a few Asian fetishists.

But the sad fact of the matter is that it reinforces particular stereotypes and self-defeating attitudes. The asexual Asian male. The disempowerment of the Asian male in a dominantly white society. It can cause a kind of invisibility. I remember that A and I felt it when we used to live in the Midwest. Living on the West Coast, or visting NYC, even I would get a few looks and smiles from women, but in the Midwest, I might as well not have been there. I might as well have had a shaved head in Buddhist monk fashion and a big sign saying "Eunuch" taped to my back.

True, it's all in how you choose to perceive certain stimuli. I'm not saying it's right to feel this way, but, there you have my interpretation. In case you've ever been wondering.