tags: random chance

1999

July

1999 Jul 26

Uniquity

What is it that makes me think that I have been set apart, that I am a unique, special part of the universe? That I have been created to achieve a set purpose? And yet there is also in me the despair, the disbelief, the desire to shirk this not-so-voluntary responsibility. And yet I cannot disbelieve. But, yet, what is my purpose? Faith lets me believe that I will know when I get there, but skeptical doubt has me fear that my path has slipped out from under my feet, and that I am operating on mistaken assumptions.

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2000

July

2000 Jul 9

A Wonderful Fucking Day (The Conundrum of Living on a Razor's Edge)

Oh shit, can you tell I am having a wonderful fucking day?

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2008

January

2008 Jan 31

clawing to the surface

Wow. It's been a while since I've felt this way. As I gazed mesmerized by the spinning barrels of the slot machine, I felt suddenly suffocated by an awful feeling of despair and loneliness. It was almost as bad as being short of breath. The feeling eventually passed, but I just feel spent, and my muscles are all tight with anxiousness.

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