tags: fight Fate

1998

October

1998 Oct 8

Endless Wonder

  I am to wonder, I am to wonder
Dreaming of finishing this book
  flipping pages until it's over
                         but it's never over
remembering flames, the buildings all lit up
amidst the burned-out wreckage

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2000

July

2000 Jul 9

After the Binge

So it's like the morning after the binge, and all that you can really do is puke it all up, hoping with each puke that it'll be the last, you'll feel better, the deadly poison gone. But you've been drunk often enough, you know it doesn't stop, not even when you're all empty. It only diminishes, like a knife blunting with every true strike, until you force yourself to hold something down, damn the pain. And still you're empty, unsettled, disturbed mentally and physically, wanting to die just as much, if not more than when you drunk yourself into a stupor in the first place, worse because the woozy carefree oblivion is now just a wracking throb, and why, oh why, is it so goddamn pointless?

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