I am to wonder, I am to wonder
Dreaming of finishing this book
  flipping pages until it’s over
                         but it’s never over
remembering flames, the buildings all lit up
amidst the burned-out wreckage

like constellations out of city blocks
     pile-ups on the freeway
burning,
     —bright flames, acrid smoke—
          remembering dreams
          dreaming of remembering
     My mind is all over the place
          utilitarianism but the ends don’t justify the means
          humility in the face of uncertainty
               the connection is forced
       but I’ve got to go on
          ain’t no one gonna feel sorry for me
     Despair, futility, Iblis breathing down my neck
     and the very last words I hear him say
          steals the very soul out of my body
     knowing it to be true
     you can’t fight Fate