But everyday I say I'll try to make my heart be still.

being told that something that I know is good for me (or which I believe is good for people I care about) is actually evil and needs to be destroyed, especially when such a denunciation is devoid of any solid evidence, and most especially when I have spent a good amount of time pointing out counter-evidence, and that counter-evidence is completely ignored.

The Western genre as treated by Hollywood is itself like a cultural palimpsest. Long before Hollywood was even a metonymic signifier for the entertainment industry, the westward expansion and the genocidal Indian Wars driven by Manifest Destiny were already the equivalent of America's Dark Ages, at the very least in the sense that mythology and legend could be easily inserted into that period without running too much afoul of history. (Like how Europe's Dark Ages are ornamented by King Arthur, and Roland and the paladins of Charlemagne, and the lost Ninth Roman Legion beyond Hadrian's Wall, to name a few that come easily to mind.)

I seem to be experiencing blogorrhea right now. Ah, nothing like insomnia.

I guess you could say that “Time after Time” is one of my most favorite songs, and I have different cover versions of it attached to various memories. For example, the version by INOJ is attached to the summer after graduating from college, when I tried lingering in the Bay Area, but then ended up going home in defeat. Now that was an extremely depressing time. This was also the time when A and E (whom I mentioned in the previous post) finally actually got together, and I remember hanging out with them and feeling superfluous and stupid. Ah memoreez.

I thought I had mentioned this before, but I can’t find it in my blog archives. In any case, I swear it seems like sometimes my iPod can read what mood I’m in. On my 2 hour trip back from L.A., it kept pulling up all these down-tempo, super-chill, and melancholy, reflective songs, and while this cheesy song by a Filipino American group may not really fall into this category, it is attached to a somewhat melancholy memory.

Which Member of the Endless Are You?

It is all meaningless distraction. Samsara. It is the state of nothingness that I seek.

Can you get high on capsaicin? Texas Hold’em and Lady Luck. Why, oh, why don’t I keep better backups? Existentialism. I am so terribly lonely at this point, and I don’t think there will be an end to this misery. Ah well.