No, the darkness never left, I suppose
still remembering lying awake at night
choking on my reflux
my bloated fat body conspiring to kill itself

The days filled with terror and exhaustion
and frustration

faint mockeries of hope glimmered wanly
there was nothing, there would be nothing

Only the bottle and sweet oblivion

There will be no answers, no consolation, no resolution

“…his heart heavy in a certain way….”
“She smiled at him, gently and with acute tenderness, with the answer no.”