I don’t remember the last time I wept tears of joy. Tonight—even though I have 16 days left—I felt that, at the last, it was truly, finally, over.

I gave up a long time ago on the likelihood that I would ever be recognized for anything. I have acquiesced to the fact that I will toil the rest of my life in anonymity. Whatever I accomplish throughout the rest of my life, I will be the sole witness to them. At best, they will be small victories. Minor triumphs.

But it hit me, in a wave of forlornness, that, no matter what else happens, no matter how insignificant I am in the scheme of things, I have been a part of this. I have been a part of this awesome group of extraordinary people who, by dint of who they are, are destined to change the world. You may never hear their names in the news. Their deeds may never be recorded in the history books. But know for a fact that your life is better simply because these people exist, because these people have dedicated their lives to the service of humanity. However peripheral I have been to their lives, I have been a part of this.

I will miss it terribly. I will miss all these wonderful people I have met. This is the last transition of my formal education. From here on out, the real world is gonna be coming at me at the speed of light, raw and unfiltered.

It occurred to me that no matter what, to be a part of her life, however minor and ephemeral that part may be, is already a lot. Her friendship is a great gift. For that, I am grateful. That I have shared a small slice of her glory, and of the adversity she has overcome, that she has shared a part of her life with me, is more than I probably deserve. I know that I will treasure it until my dying day, whatever else might happen.

And, as I have finally—after struggling all these years through nights of anguish, sorrow, and suffering—as I have finally come to understand, there is no next. There is only now. And I’ve got to live my life accordingly.

Carpe diem. And don’t let go until you’ve squeezed out everything you can.