It’s been a while since I’ve been this sick. I’ve gotten sick over the past few years, usually with some kind of upper respiratory illness, and I even missed at least one day of work, but it was usually just something I could power through, and eventually shake off. A speed bump, if you will.

Probably the last time I was this badly ill was four years ago, with a non-resolving cough, night sweats, chills, weakness, and fatigue. It wasn’t really the severity that got me, but the prolonged nature of it. I kept going to work, too. It lasted for at least two weeks, culminating in an episode of orthostatic hypotension (exacerbated by vasovagal syncope) but eventually cured by a buttload of antibiotics.

Before that, I got sick with some respiratory virus during residency interview season, but that lasted for only one day, and the only reason why I felt like I was going to die was because it was December in Chicago and the cold just magnified my misery.

Before that, I think it was my senior year in college, when I couldn’t get out of bed to go to class because I felt so weak, and eventually I again needed antibiotics to get better.

As a kid, I remember being sick a few times, probably viral illnesses, but because my parents are both in health care, they would pump me full of antiobiotics anyway. I even remember when I got chickenpox as a little kid, and how I started feeling dizzy in the mall, and eventually had to be carried.

Before that, apparently I was a pretty sickly kid, eventually needing a tonsillectomy, but I don’t remember much of that.

But this bout of gastroenteritis beat me down pretty bad. It didn’t help that I had to drive down from the Bay to L.A., which meant that I had to concentrate for at least 5 hours. Except the Grapevine was closed. This lead to a misadventure in the Tehachapi Mountains. I had intended to go around the Grapevine by heading east from Bakersfield to Mojave, and from there, heading south to L.A. through the Antelope Valley, thinking that I could avoid the snow. Instead, I ended up driving through a snowstorm, which, when combined with wanting to hurl and trying to avoid pooping myself, was a little harrowing. I briefly entertained the idea of stopping and checking into a motel and just going to sleep. I then briefly entertained the idea of driving myself to the nearest emergency room just so I could get some IV fluids. By the time I emerged into the San Fernando Valley, I was pretty spent, and when I got to my parents’ house, I pretty much crashed out.

The worst part was that I was shivering uncontrollably, despite wearing a jacket, and burying myself under two blankets and a comforter, with the heater on full-blast. Eventually, I figured out that I was febrile, and after taking some Tylenol, I stopped shivering, and my fever finally broke, leaving me drenched in sweat.

I was finally able to hold something down the evening afterwards, and now I think I’m starting to feel better, but I still feel pretty damn weak.

Nothing makes you realize just how good life is like incapacitating illness (however temporary and brief.)