when degrees of freedom
fail
just one
a single loss
enough to imprison
caged
still

eternal

words come falteringly
jagged
distorted
tremulous
garbled

the music of
laughter and quiet conversation
fades out like
the last five seconds of a movie

like a glowing hot ember
slowly fading to grey, cold ash

like a dreamer waking to drear dawn
happiness becomes indifference
joy becomes numbness

in time, the cold sets in
the light is just a reflection of a reflection
blurred and broken
and still

I am waiting for the light
(and the dawn shall set me free)
I am praying for the sun’s rebirth
the darkness before dawn fast approaches
despair quells my song

in time, the cold is all I know
the echoing silence where my thoughts
reverberate
fade
whispers
and the futile sussurations
of a man who has gone too far
didn’t mean for it to get this way
don’t know my way back to the start

(In the shadows of cruel night
I know the sun will come again
but each minute stretches to an hour
the more I count, the longer it goes.)

(In the shadows of endless night
tears come unbidden
unshed from years long wasted
dust and ashes
of regret—
and still I ask:
How can one regret what never came to pass?)

What do I take
What do I leave
without surrendering a piece of my soul?