mahiwaga

I learned a valuable lesson from a fallen priest back in high school. At the time, I didn’t know his crimes, and the lesson loses no value because of them. (He was eventually accused and proven to have molested several children.)

But the lesson was this: it is almost human nature to thing about things using false dichotomies. But just when you think there are only two choices, a moment of discerning clarity will reveal to you that there is always another choice.

He was giving a homily at mass I think, or maybe just lecturing in A.P. English class. He deconstructed the movie “Dead Poet’s Society” and the protagonist’s false dichotomy in the middle of the movie: stand up to his father and follow his heart, or commit suicide. Unable to do the former, he does the latter.

While it would suck the drama out of the movie (and ruin the plot completely), anyone who is not depressed can see that there are alternatives. There’s no reason why every flash point in life needs to be some bloody Battle of Maldon, or some suicide death pact like the Battle of Masada.

(In fact, the sitcom “Friends” even lampoons the premise:

I thought that movie was so incredibly… boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can’t be in the play? What was that?! It’s like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, “Now, that’s two hours of my life that I’m never getting back.” And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.

True, there are plenty of battles where it would be immoral not to fight, but even then, there is always more than one way to face the enemy with honor.

In keeping with my “I want to live” epiphany, I recognize that there is a third way I can live a fulfilling life. If happiness with my soul mate is not my fate, I’m not necessarily condemned to a pointless life of loneliness and pain. And this doesn’t mean I’m going to Meet Someone®, someplace, someday.

This means fulfillment now. <p>Carpe diem</p> and all that jazz. Go on vacation somewhere, get some sunlight, write that novel I’ve been alway meaning to get to. Just chill out and go with flow, and let life take me whereever I need to go. <p>Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel</p> .

I’ve been obsessed with song lately. I’m not sure why. It’s pretty catchy, though. Very “Dust in the Wind”-like, or maybe “Sound of Silence”-ish.

Honestly what will become of me
don’t like reality
It’s way too clear to me

But really life is dandy
We are what we don’t see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I’ll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don’t cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could

Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day
‘til the feeling went away

And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation

the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

Good times for a change. Seems the luck I’ve had would make a good man turn bad.

<p>Dum spiro, spero</p>

I haven’t heard this song in 12 years.

Hearts cannot be broken
They’re small squishy things
They don’t break like glass but they bruise easily
This one you bruise

Words will not be spoken
never knowing what they mean
Sticks and stones hurt my bones,
your promises have broken me
each one you break

And I want to be good but good is being simple
Simple is forgetting
I simply can’t forget
I want to be good but good is being simple
Simple is forgetting
And I simply can’t forget

Eyes are always open
even when they sleep
Mine are mostly closed while yours are wandering
You look where you please

And I want to be good but good is being simple
Simple is forgetting
I simply can’t forget
I want to be great but greatness is giving
Giving leaves me empty
Oh great emptiness

Souls cannot be taken
They’re large and they’re loud
Yours merely whispers, lately seems it’s shrinkin’
I wish it would speak

And I want to be good but good is being simple
Simple is forgetting
I simply can’t forget
I want to be great but greatness is giving
Giving leaves me empty
Oh great emptiness

And I simply can’t forget