A few small gems that made me laugh out loud that I found while looking for potential admits on tonight’s emergency department board:

On the disposition column next to a patient’s chief complaint, where they usually notate where the patient is going to go next (e.g., radiology, discharge home, admit medicine, admit ICU, etc.):

Wants to get his ass kicked!

On another patient complaining of penile discharge and testicular swelling, in the chart where it usually notes pre-hospital care (e.g., IV started, oxygen given, sublingual nitroglycerin given, intubated in the field, defibrillated in the field, coded for 55 minutes in the field, etc.):

Has been smoking marijuana to relieve pain