We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem. — Tricia McMillan AKA Trillian from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Mad schemes are whirling around in my mind. Despite knowing that it’s all going to turn into a colossal train wreck, I am nonetheless intent on pursuing this path of self-destruction. What can I do? Testosterone makes me do stupid things.

(It’s all a numbers game anyway. One of these days, some poor, unsuspecting woman is going to fall for it and be sorry.)

Trying is the first step to failure. —Homer Simpson

I say, why not aim high? It makes the terrific crash after completely missing the mark all the more thrilling.

Self-improvement is masturbation, self-destruction is the answer. —Tyler Durden from “Fight Club”

There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. —Raoul Duke from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”

Dogs fucked the Pope. No fault of mine. —Raoul Duke from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”

How much do they pay you to screw that bear? —Dr. Gonzo from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”