On some Saturdays, I head out to the Mission Cafe in North Park before it gets overly crowded and buy myself an L.A. Times (because, frankly, the San Diego Union-Tribune is not fit to wipe my ass with.) On the front page, I found two rather depressing stories: (1) the beleaguered Charles Drew/Martin Luther King, Jr. Medical Center in South Central L.A. has failed a “make it or break it” federal inspection, thereby losing funding from CMS and (2) this character piece about a guy named Ronnie Wise who has been fighting illiteracy in the Mississippi delta for the past 30 years in the face of institutionalized racism, uncaring politicians, arsonists, and weather, and who has decided to retire early.

For all you nitwits who continue to insist that racism is a thing of the past and that we now live on a “level playing field,” here’s what I think of you:

The King/Drew debacle has been going on for years upon years, and for some reason (and the L.A. Times itself was the publication that exposed, once and for all, that it wasn’t because of a lack of money) they have been unable to come into minimal regulatory compliance. It is notorious for being a place where it is not safe to go if you ever get sick or injured. It had already failed to obtain JCAHO certification and CMS had already threatened to pull funding multiple times.

A good part of this disaster is the fault of corrupt physicians who were taking advantage of the situation, and these bastards earn my utmost contempt. And naturally, there was all sorts of political corruption, hiring corruption, nepotism, and gross incompetence.

I feel angriest because of all the patients (all of whom are poor and/or minorities)they’ve let down. I hope these bastards who contributed to this mess never get another job in health care.

The other thing is that the ripple effect will be all little hair-raising. Guess where all the county patients have to go now? L.A. County/USC and Harbor/UCLA, naturally, despite the fact that these aren’t exactly underutilized hospitals. We’ll see if the EMS system in Southern California can actually continue to function.

But the article about illiteracy in Mississippi was just as depressing. I can’t believe what it must be like not to be able to read. I guess I’ve taken it for granted. According to my parents, I could already read a little when I was two years old, and I’ve always been able to read above grade level since, and I always have to have a book I’m reading. The idea that all these words and sentences floating around everywhere should be indecipherable scares the crap out of me.

Now I know that reading is not a natural human function. I know people who are actually quite high-functioning but who are dyslexic or otherwise challenged. And then there is blindness, which happens to be something that I am at higher risk for than the average population. The inability to read is the main reason that I fear going blind. So I’ve had people tell me that they really envy my ability to read quickly. Reading fast is something more natural for me than, for example, making friends and fostering human relationships, something that other people seem to do quite easily, but this is neither here nor there.

So I guess I found myself identifying with this Ronnie Wise character. He appears to be someone who is quite reticent about himself, a little gruff, a little off-putting, who has few acquaintances and apparently no friends. And yet, somehow, he manages to find a woman who loves him (which is mentioned almost as an aside in the story, although it may be a big contributor to his reasons for deciding to retire early.)

If I had any hope left… but I don’t.

In any case, he is an object lesson in trying to do the right thing in the world, getting beaten down and persecuted for doing it, and ending up burning out and unappreciated for it. At the very least, he didn’t get crucified or shot, I suppose.

Sometimes my Catholic (though slightly heretical) upbringing rears up its ugly head, and I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t actually Hell already, and have all already been condemned.