Bizarrely, as I’m trying to sew closed a gaping wound across a toe, MTV plays the following songs:

• James Blunt “You’re Beautiful”
• Ne-yo “So Sick”

Which nicely echoes some of my wistful sentiments about loving, and losing (or usually more accurately, never getting a chance.) Weird time and place to be reminded about it, but there it is.

And naturally my thoughts stray to a particular woman whom I haven’t really thought of for a while.

In truth, I don’t really know her. She seems like a really nice person. Realistically, someone who would be cool to hang out with. But it’s funny, the things that are beyond conscious control. She is so overawingly beautiful to me that I totally freeze up when I’m around her.

And I don’t have any illusions of getting with her. She has been with someone for a ridiculously long time, practically married, and probably they soon really will be. I am interested in getting to know her though just as a friend, but I guess you could say that biology or chemistry or whatever is in the way.

Ridiculous and not a little sad. Ah well.

Wiser folks will say to just be yourself. I am being myself. I mean, what if being yourself is all about freezing up when confronted by beautiful women?