Retrospect
As Julie suggested, I tried putting an introduction to this weblog, but for some reason, it doesn’t satisfy me. I feel like I’m always writing introductions, prefaces, and first chapters, but I’ve never been able to go further. I suppose, like most people, I’m simply afraid to commit myself wholeheartedly into something where I don’t know the ending.
They give you one week to decide the rest of your life, tell you to pack up everything you think you’ll need in the trunk of your car, just throw the rest away, even before you’revsure what’s what, what’s really trash, what’s more precious thanvgold. So you go, there’s nothing left to believe in but yourself, you don’t know where you’re going to live, you can’t see beyond tomorrow, and anyone you might’ve cared about is going to forget you, never knowing the secrets hiding in your heart. All you’ve got left is hope, and your old life burns away like fog, even before you’re sure this is what you want, but you’ll never, ever be sure. But there’s no turning back. You can only go on.
But I’ve told Ben that I will bear down and write. I just have to convince myself that anywhere is better than here, and as long as I’m in motion, I should be OK. But it’s so very cold outside.
####Some random links:
The days of wrath. Fire and brimstone. All that exciting stuff. Have you ever read Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee? “Dies Irae” features prominently in the end of this play. A friend of mine from elementary school, Sean Aguirre (where the hell are you?), was reading Woolf in 6th grade, I think. This is some pretty heavy sh-t for a 6th grader. I also like Zoo Story by Albee.
Here’s a working link for “Evaporated” by Ben Folds Five
Here’s a link to the Fatbrain entry for Death on the Installment Plan by Louis-Ferdinand Céline, which I finished reading just a couple of days ago. (Tangent: is there an MLA style guide for HTML markup vis-a-vis punctuation rules? Do periods go inside or outside the hyperlink? Heh.) I just started on Journey to the End of the Night, also by Céline. It’s like a darker, more obscene version of Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. Of course Céline’s work is older by far, but the similarities are kind of interesting.
####Postscript:
Oh, before I forget (the whole reason I started writing this entry in the first place): two of my friends from college (Aimee and Eugene) are getting married to each other next year!!! I get vertigo just thinking about it. Where has the time gone? That’s the kind of news that’s good for putting me in a contemplative mood. (Well, more so than usual.)