purpose
Hoping that when I find myself face-to-face with an ICBM with a neutron bomb payload, I won't have to say the same thing
addendum 2015 Nov 19
> Oh, I’ve wasted my life.
—[Jeff Albertson][1] AKA The Comic Book Guy from “The Simpsons”
File:The Simpsons-Jeff Albertson.png • Wikipedia
The past two weeks have been something of a rollercoaster. Sadly, I didn’t really go anywhere other than back-and-forth between L.A. and S.D. Although I’m not really sure where I would go. (One of these days I’ll make it up to Alaska, but I figure I need a few weeks or so, but that is neither here nor there.)
I had meant to write something a couple of hours ago. I’m not exactly sure what set my wheels spinning, but maybe if I keep rambling on, it’ll come out eventually.
* * *
Mostly because I’ve had *way* too much free time, I’ve found myself ruminating too much about the fact that I’ve been alone for a really long time. This is something a few of my friends harangue me about, advising me that it’s unhealthy, and while probably true, my will has snapped or something. It was kind of funny recalling my various misadventures since graduating from college with B, and for some reason, talking to him made me more hopeful. Despite the fact that I’ve declared that I’ve given up all hope, and that I’m changing my focus to being content with the current state of affairs.
It was probably because B brought up my lost chances with J (What was that, five, six years ago?) How pathetic is that? I’m enumerating my most hopeful failures.
But I seem to have swung back down to reality. Sure, I have a whole future to plan out. Hell, I still have to tie up the loose strings of *this* year.
In a somewhat irritating bout of synchronicity, my mom has gone full bore about wanting grandchildren, which, despite A’s once-upon-a-time true assertion that you don’t really need to be in a relationship to have a kid, is somewhat difficult without someone to have them with.
I’ve got nothing.
But whatcha gonna do? It’s been a *long* time. Why should anything change?
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comic_Book_Guy "Comic Book Guy • Wikipedia"
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