what didn’t you do to bury me
but then you forgot I was a seed

Remember when everyone thought that Steve Jobs was insane by not allowing Flash on iOS?

Is this a harbinger, or a precursor? Would she have saved me, if I had somehow threaded my way through fate? Or it's just the chemicals, the neurotransmitters diffusing through my brain. Maybe this is just the way they all justify the emptiness.

OK, I’m not talking about my drug problems. I’m talking about the terrible shape my body is in.

There is this punk on the Alibata Yahoo Group that I find myself arguing with whenever I participate in a discussion. Calling himself Malachi, he uses tactics that are reminiscent of the average troll. But for some reason, people never call him out for it.

I have to ask you, Michelle:

I don't know why I can't do this, why it's such a painful task to just pound this shit out, write down what I mean to say, and get it done with.

Half a bottle now empty, the rain is trickling, I can hear it
pattering on the windowpane. I swear the wind wants to shatter it
open, crack it into a million pieces like my tormented heart. I don't
even know where to begin, find a soft, still quiet place to rest, to
hide from this wracking wretchedness. Oh how I wish I had never been
born, though it is useless to rail against Fate, the best I can do is
take another swig and hope for the best. Oh, but to win, once, to
wear the laurel crown, stand the tallest on the pedestal, to have that
one sweet moment in time.