We don't really need to wonder whether the Bernie or Bust sentiment is real. We already saw it in 2010 when the Democratic electorate rolled over and let the Tea Party move in.

Despite what Republicans say, the Democratic party isn't like the Communist party where you have to declare total party loyalty. It's always been an unruly coalition of special interests since it's inception as the Democratic-Republican party in 1799. Some special interests have bailed, others have joined, but the dynamic has always been the same. It's a big tent. It's within my living memory when politicians who supported segregation and states' rights caucused with politicians who kindled and propelled the Civil Rights Movement and politicians who were instrumental in preserve the welfare state enacted by the New Deal and the Great Society.

The irony is, I'm terrible with details. I can't figure out the right threshold, the right setting. Either I actively ignore the minutiae and pretend they don't exist at all, or I end up mired in the trivial, and I end up taking hours when it should've taken minutes, and every task becomes a variation of Zeno's Paradox, getting halfway there, then halfway again, then halfway again of that, but still no closer to the finish line. This leaves me extraordinarily tired and frustrated, with a bunch of half-finished or maybe three-quarters finished projects lying around.

XVII

I

There is nothing external to yourself that can tell you about the future, because you already know what's going to happen. And if you don't know it now, you'll never know it.

that which you seek to perfect
fussing and worrying over
will come to ruin
too much force
and the thing will break
too much care
and you will wear it thin
and all you're left with are the little pieces
useless debris, detritus

Grasp him tightly, try to carry him
and he will squirm and struggle
snap and bite and cry out
trying to get free

If I could guarantee the happiness of a certain someone whom I think is the coolest person in the world at this point, I would sell my soul at a pinch. No matter how much misery I must endure, if I know that she is happy, then whatever I suffer will be bearable.

Too late, I cry, remembering time past, running through shadows
echoes of ten thousand lives criss-crossing, folding, twisting, bending
In their wake, I am forsaken
Amidst the jetsam and flotsam of plans gone awry
(and still somehow I made it to land,
even now I make plans and grand schemes
to sail forth from this benighted isle

Even my dreams are laced with nothing but work, work, work.

Over the roar of the A/C and the distorting influence of being in another room, not to mention the screwy acoustics of the apartment's living room, I swear "Scatterbrain" by Radiohead [lyrics][iTMS] sounds a little like "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John [lyrics][iTMS]

Crucifixion on my mind.

Some reasons are better than others.

I’m not gon’ give up/I’m not gon’ stop/I’m gon’ work harder

Letting go.