mahiwaga

So when I was a teenager and in my twenties, I used to be really into “Best of” lists and countdowns and reflecting on the last 365 days and all that crap, but lately, I just don’t give a crap.

Now, I’ve always been a big believer in looking back. One of my favorite aphorisms is from José Rizal (one of the national heroes of the Philippines) which basically translates into “He who does not know how to look back will never get to where they’re going.” Self-reflection is critical for human development, and it’s difficult to learn new things without this ability.

But I think I’ve come to the realization that (1) one year is not a whole hell of a lot of time and (2) you don’t need to do it just because the calendar says you should.

So lately, I often think of Orpheus trying to lead Eurydice back from the bowels of Hades, or of Lot’s ill-fated wife. Of Daenerys Targaryen from A Song of Ice and Fire and her mantra of “If I look back, I am lost.”

And a thought comes unbidden from my head, something I imagine Coyote or Loki would say. “It’s wise to look back once in a while. But you do not need to do it while your pursuers are on your heels.”

Maybe one day I’ll look back at all this (ALL OF THIS) and laugh. Or at least shrug.