mahiwaga

So I’ve been in a weird mood all weekend. Maybe it has something to do with the recent solar flare and the incoming coronal mass ejection. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep. Or maybe too much sleep. Probably, I’m not getting enough exercise.

In any case, I was sitting at a red light on my way home, and my iPod decides to play a song by Ne-Yo. And this always makes me think briefly about a woman whom I had a crush on, which I never did anything about (which is generally my modus operandi when confronted with attractive women.)

And it occurs to me that it never pays to try anyway. As Homer Simpson once said, “Trying is the first step to failure.” I guess I’d rather experience certain failure than highly improbably success. Saves a lot of time that way.

So I’m going to be alone until the end of my days. The way I look at it, it’s better that I settle with being alone forever, instead of settling with whoever will have me and me making their life a living hell. See, I’m doing the world a favor.

Then, of course, believing anyone would have me is an unwarranted assumption in the first place. So once again, it makes settling with being alone forever the right decision anyway.

I do worry that my soul is truly dead, though, because, once upon a time, thinking about these things would really have depressed the shit out of me. But now, the only I thing I feel is mild, detached amusement.