thermophilic, i am not
dreaming still of sunlight more than heat
not the noxious fumes of this gushing geyser
this ramble-shamble of chaos and turbulence
obeying messianic instruction
i don't know my left hand from my right
neither up or down
nor black nor white
floating upon the quantum foam
of ever-dancing pin-prick particles
vertiginous, four walls closing in
toilet bowl swirl
we are what we eat
and used toilet paper is like a mirror
a way to look inside out
a perverse form of the ancient roman auguries
predicting the future with entrails
and the runnels and trickles of bright red blood
flung, flail, fists
atavistic, balled-up, screaming
like a newborn
i am bloody, battered, and bruised
blind, weak, and hungry
this thrill and harsh murmur, unfulfilled
still dancing up the steps of spacetime
where sound is frozen in four dimensions
i imagine solidity in the evanescent vibrations of air
touch and crumble
fade, decay
lightning flashes across my eyes
and this dull thrumming of the nerves in my fingertips
is all I understand of reality at this point
everything else, I have no choice but to take on faith.